I left my abusive ex nearly 2 years ago now. It was a catalogue of horrific abuse from physical to emotional. I was completely broken after I left him. I picked my DD up and just walked out and never looked back.. 2 years on, we have a beautiful house, I have a new job that I love and my DD is thriving.
About a month ago my neighbour had some trouble with another neighbour and texted her police officer friend for advice. For background, my neighbours are so wonderful, they really look out for us and I often catch them by the door in the evenings and we chat. Anyway, that night they were having trouble, her police man friend turned up after his shift and bought along his police mate. I was on my door step waiting with my neighbour and these two off duty police men were trying to help my neighbour rectify the issue. After they went that evening, my neighbour text me to say the police officer accompanying her friend has asked if I was single and asked if I'd be willing to give my number to him.. I think that particular phrase was really lovely to me.. Willing to give my number, no assumptions or ascertions..
He was quite attractive so I thought why not.. What's the worst that could happen.
Fast forward to now.. We've been speaking a lot and he's visited me a few times at my work place as he's stationed there at times...
He's talked about having dinner etc.. But he knows I'm a single parent who has no evening childcare, so I'm assuming he means to come to mine..
I do want him to.. And I do fancy him and I know nothing has to happen, he certainly hasn't even mentioned sex at all.. There's been some cheeky flirting etc which has been nice... But I'm scared and terrified and I don't know what of.
The last person I was with was my ex, I just don't mean sexually, in every way. I've not sat and had dinner with a man or sat and watched TV or even had a man hug me in two years. I took two years to piece together my life.
How do I overcome this fear?