Help! Heartbroken

[Sloulou88]

Three years ago I met a guy, fell in love but we never became anything proper - I was with someone so blocked him.

Unblocked him and he had a girlfriend- tbeh broke up we got close and spent a night together, then he went all weird on me and I found out he had a new girlfriend and blocked me.

He broke up with her after she was abusice (police involved etc) and he came back. I forgave him for everything and we spent a day out together with our kids and spent another night together. Both were lovely.

After that he became distant again, said he was struggling but wanted me to wait for him. I pesters him a bit about it and becfore I know if he’s told me I was too much and he never wants to hear from me again.

He’s now blocked me everywhere bar one place and I’m heartbroken. I’m so so sorry for being a pest but I can’t get to talk to him to say this. We had such a deep connection on so many levels and I am heartbroken.

I don’t know what to do.

Get over him, block him, don't let him back into your life and stop introducing your kids to fuckboys.

I don’t usually introduce my kids to anyone- but seeing as we’ve been friends for over four years we’ve had days out with the kids as friends on a few occasions. Our kids became friends.

I forgave him and have always been there for him it hurts that he can react so badly over one mistake when I’ve forgiven him for many

This is what some people are like. They'll hurt you over and over and expect forgiveness every time.

You'll have one minor indiscretion and they'll punish you for it.

If that's how he reacts to little mistakes would you really want to be with a man like that anyway? It's toxic.

It sounds very much like you are too much. Just stop and think about what you're doing to your children.

Heal and get through the break up, this man has always been inconsistent, a pattern here with getting with you and going distant, he doesn't want anything serious with you and not caring about the consequences of your children meeting him and you feeling heart broken, he'll be getting on with his and so should you.

This is true.

I don’t know why I’m so pulled in by him. We just got in so we’ll x

@solarsky

Heal and get through the break up, this man has always been inconsistent, a pattern here with getting with you and going distant, he doesn't want anything serious with you and not caring about the consequences of your children meeting him and you feeling heart broken, he'll be getting on with his and so should you.

It’s so difficult when he’s made me fall hard and spent the last 10 months trying to convince me I should give him a chance.

Then as soon as I do…bang.

This is true. I think I know deep down your right but as comment above he made me fall hard and spent the whole year convincing me to give him a chance so it’s hit a bit hard thet I make one misfake and I’m cut off where as I forgave so much worse

You've done nothing wrong. You didn't pester him, you wanted to know what was going on based on his shitty behaviour. Block him and do your best to move on. He sounds like a dick.

It's a classic narc cycle, OP. He chases you, then when you finally reciprocate, he goes cold, then drops you. Have a read of this
www.goodtherapy.org/blog/idealize-devalue-discard-the-dizzying-cycle-of-narcissism-0325154

The intense highs and lows are what keep you hooked. You must go cold turkey. Block him on everything (the fact he's left one avenue open is a dead giveaway that he's planning to start up hurting you again) and delete his number as well so you can't waver.

You deserve so, so much better than this tosspot.

You are being an emotional doormat.

Grab some of the power balance back. He sounds like a boring flake.

How can you have this "deep connection" with a guy who flits in and out with much childish blocking?

You don't block friends.
So you aren't really friends are you?

Thank you this all makes sense- it’s so difficult when he pulled me right in .

I sent him a message yesterday where he hadn’t blocked me - he’s not seen it. Is it really likely he’d come back ? It just makes no sense blocking me everywhere and ignoring me where he hasn’t to think of coming back xxx

You had no connection with that idiot. He's got issues - avoidant, narcissistic or something.

You spent a few nights together but other than that it has been all bullshit for 4 years.

Block and move on and find someone who you really have a connection with.