Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Real time advice needed

11 replies

sanpell · 03/10/2021 12:39

Married to DH for 3 years, been together 5 years. Have DS 3 and DS 5 from previous relationship.

Things haven't been good at home for some time and following a series of traumatic events in 2018 I found myself experiencing a nervous breakdown and having a response to it which was that I needed affection from others (probably validation I don't know) but not necessarily sexual. DH is emotionally unavailable therefore I sought this in my time of distress. He was aware of this and so things continued. Covid hit and as a NHS worker I was slammed with work, barely at home and just in survival mode. Fast forward to the recent winter and I started to really have epic mood swings where I would either act out or be very very low. I am not diagnosed with anything despite many efforts at the GP/psychiatry. In recent months I have been trying to get a cross to DH that I am unhappy in our relationship and that I would prefer to be alone. Things have come to a head today. He dangled my MacBook out of our bedroom window, opened up a skin laceration wound that he had (literally ripped it with his hands) and then smeared the blood on me, threatened to push me down the stairs, got right up in my face screaming at me, and then stormed off in the car telling me that I would get what was coming to me later (which I need as transport for my DC, one of whom is autistic). I am at a loss at to what to do. I don't want him to return, I have been a single mum before. I want my car back though.

He has struggled to hold down jobs his whole life due to A previous over the counter addiction, and is once again on a performance management plan. He has previous with the police for assault and road rage too.

I had a hugely abusive childhood, so this is the last thing I need.
Advice welcome!

OP posts:
FirstStarToTheRight · 03/10/2021 12:44

Call the police immediately. Stay away from him. Please protect your children.

NotaCoolMum · 03/10/2021 12:45

Call the police. Now.

Sonaftersonafterson · 03/10/2021 12:47

Sweetheart Flowers

Advice? Make serious, permanent steps to get him out of your life for good. This is massively unhealthy.

spotcheck · 03/10/2021 12:54

Police.

sanpell · 03/10/2021 13:17

Would they be able to get my car back? I feel completely trapped here and right now very exhausted. I did a 10.5 hour difficult day yesterday at work and he couldn't even be bothered to make some dinner. I don't feel respected in the slightest.

OP posts:
sanpell · 03/10/2021 13:18

DS5 was hysterical

OP posts:
Coco90 · 03/10/2021 15:06

Sorry but I don’t think you’re safe with that behaviour/threat. You need to put your own and your children’s safety first. Car is least of your worries today, he sounds violent.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 03/10/2021 15:57

Please call the police and explain that he has stolen your car, assaulted you (smearing blood), threatened your safety and you want your car back and him gone. As he has form they should be all over this.

What is the housing situation? Rented, owned, whose name on lease/deeds?

Your poor DC, please give them lots of reassurance and cuddles. Do everything possible to not let him cross the threshold again.

sanpell · 03/10/2021 16:52

House is mortgaged with a small sum left on it. Both names on deeds but he only contributed a part of it. Still haven't heard from him. We've just been sitting here all day in silence watching tv really. DS made me some cereal and put some flowers in water for me from the garden. Think I will tell work that I can't come in for a few days. Take sick or carers leave.

OP posts:
Itstimetoquit · 03/10/2021 18:14

Call the police op x

DrGoogleSaysSo · 03/10/2021 18:28

Call the police OP. He probably will try to blame you for his laceration saying that you attacked him hence smearing the blood on you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page