Married to DH for 3 years, been together 5 years. Have DS 3 and DS 5 from previous relationship.
Things haven't been good at home for some time and following a series of traumatic events in 2018 I found myself experiencing a nervous breakdown and having a response to it which was that I needed affection from others (probably validation I don't know) but not necessarily sexual. DH is emotionally unavailable therefore I sought this in my time of distress. He was aware of this and so things continued. Covid hit and as a NHS worker I was slammed with work, barely at home and just in survival mode. Fast forward to the recent winter and I started to really have epic mood swings where I would either act out or be very very low. I am not diagnosed with anything despite many efforts at the GP/psychiatry. In recent months I have been trying to get a cross to DH that I am unhappy in our relationship and that I would prefer to be alone. Things have come to a head today. He dangled my MacBook out of our bedroom window, opened up a skin laceration wound that he had (literally ripped it with his hands) and then smeared the blood on me, threatened to push me down the stairs, got right up in my face screaming at me, and then stormed off in the car telling me that I would get what was coming to me later (which I need as transport for my DC, one of whom is autistic). I am at a loss at to what to do. I don't want him to return, I have been a single mum before. I want my car back though.
He has struggled to hold down jobs his whole life due to A previous over the counter addiction, and is once again on a performance management plan. He has previous with the police for assault and road rage too.
I had a hugely abusive childhood, so this is the last thing I need.
Advice welcome!