Please help me stay calm

[Sadlifeee]

So me and child’s father split up when our baby was very young. We’ve since decided to try again. Our child had a febrile convulsion we’re currently in the hospital waiting to be seen. His temperature is through the roof, he’s dehydrated and he’s miserable.

Today my child’s father had plans but came to the hospital. I sent him home as no point being here too. We don’t live together. Before he went he said he may go out instead tonight. There’s no way I’m getting home before the morning so I said you’re not gonna watch the baby so I can catch up on sleep. He said im no fun at anything and I can’t demand what he does. I did say you’re watching him if we don’t get home until morning but who wouldn’t want to pick up the slack. I’m so so mad

Firstly I'm sorry to hear your little one isn't well - febrile convulsions can be so scary to see too - hopefully the temperature will start to come down soon. With regards to the other situation- you know the answer already - whether you choose to see it is up to you .. judge by actions not words

My dd had these - bloody terrifying and I'm an ex hcp! But when it's your kid it's damn scary!

She's outgrown them now and is a big lump of 20 just started uni!

As for the other useless lump in your life...I think you know what you need to do there!

Do you have other support in real life?

I raised dd alone after splitting from her dad when she was little and had no support network to speak of so I know what it's like. It can be done but obviously better if you do have support.

My dds fits came out the clear blue yonder! But some are more predictable and so you may get some advice on how to prevent, I won't advise myself as the info may have changed a lot in over 15 years!

Don't hesitate to call for help they will never mind especially with this.

I think if he can happily go out and have fun while his young baby is very poorly and waiting to be seen in hospital, he's a complete shit head.

There is not a single cell in my body which could go and have a laugh out with friends while my little baby is in hospital. I know we all parent differently but this is just a total lack of care and interest. And absolutely, he's not supporting you - and you are vital to his baby's wellbeing. So even if he doesn't care about you the way he is supposed to, he should care that you're in a fit state to look after his child.

Chuck him back into the sea, he's a complete waste of oxygen.

I hope your little one is OK x

Trying again was clearly a mistake, but one you can rectify. Get rid and don't take him back again.

He said I’m no fun at anything.

His lack of care for you and the baby is appalling. He should be moving mountains to support you. Bin him.

I hope your baby is doing much better now.

I hope your baby is doing OK this morning. It sounds as though when you sent him away he felt that you'd got this and he wasn't needed. Did you have a conversation about how the next day or so would pan out? It was mean to say you're no fun and that's the bit I'd be picking up on tbh.

My child had a febrile convulsion. My husband saw it and it was apparently terrifying. The good news is that my son never had another one and is doing post graduate work at university at the moment.

He's not a good parent or partner.

You gave it another try. This is how he scts and what he sats being given another chance, says it all.

He sounds stupid into the bargain.

Thank you everybody for your kind messages. He’s okay this morning and we came home this morning around 5am. It was really scary and his temperature was so high. He’s been given antibiotics so hopefully he feels better soon.

In regards to his dad, I’m so disappointed. I was saying how we probably wouldn’t get out of here until early morning. He sat and sighed and said he may go out to this day drinking event. If he was up with our son I’d be around to be in the day to help out.

He cares more about drinking and having fun than he cares about his DC. This much is obvious.

Glad your little one has improved and you’re back home

As regards his “father” I hope you seen enough to know what you need to do.
Stay strong and focus on the important things: your baby and you. 💐