DV how to advise this good friend

[Queenie6655]

Ughhh so it feels we are hearing way too much about d v recently

My life for ten years marred by it all sadly

Now- a friend is packing her bags after 8 years of taking it and denying it and hoping he would change

She has three small children

Today she signed a lease for a house in the south of Ireland (she has not told me where)

She wants to cut all ties
With the hope he won't find her

I totally get what she is doing

But my own past and recent experiences have scared me and I am worried that if I try to warn her of potential consequences she will be upset with me

Say he does start looking for them and can't find them
What kind of trouble can he get her in?
This man has money and is not Afraid to use it as necessary

Feel like I don't know what to say at the moment

My life for ten years marred by it all sadly

Sounds like you should join her. You don't know what to say to her because you're still dealing with DV. What's stopping you leaving?

I’d suggest she speaks to women’s aid. Tell her some expert help will not go amiss and wish her all the best.

I've left thankfully

But I'm worried she is going to get in trouble later down the line

I don't know

She wants to cut all contact and hope he never finds them
I don't blame her
I worry what happens later down the line at some point ??!!

@Rainbowqueeen

I’d suggest she speaks to women’s aid. Tell her some expert help will not go amiss and wish her all the best.

Yes good point

She did call them a while back and they were inundated

Maybe don't look for problems until there is one? What if he can't do anything? What if he doesn't find them? Why look for negatives?

She's made her decision, the one she feels is best for her and her children. Keep your opinion to yourself and just wish her well.

Yes absolutely

My gut is thinking fair play

Run as fast as you can

If something bad happens then deal with it later

Just need to stay positive
My own shit interfering with offering good advice

Sad as it all sounds

She will be a million times better off
That's for sure

And if challenged she can show all the agencies who supported her throughout I guess

??

I'm not there to judge

Just to be her friend and support her

Fcking abusive men ruining lives

Bump

I don't understand what your concern is (sorry!)... do you mean that because she's doing a runner you're worried she'll get in trouble for taking the children away from him? and / or that she won't have any support around her?

No I don't know what can happen if he eventually finds her

Can he force her back to where the kids were born?

I have been supportive but I am wondering if I need to warn her about him finding her

Deep down it seems 100 per cent the right thing

What could he do though?
Hopefully not much 😢😢

100 per cent the right thing to go I mean