Was he being selfish

[nobodyelsewill]

Well I found a lump went doctors it needed to be checked out at hospital ( it's nothing serious thank goodness)
my doctor requested an appointment within 2 weeks, thing is me and my partner were due to go on holiday at the same time as my appointment date, I was naturally very worried upset and said to my partner we should cancel the holiday or go just for a few days so I could go to my appointment, he said no it will be fine another week won't make much difference, so I reluctantly booked an appointment for when we got back but I had to wait another 2 weeks so a month in total, was he being selfish here?

Yes, he is horribly selfish. The 2-week pathway exists for a reason and if you get it on the NHS you should follow that.

Ditch this man, if you do have cancer he won't be there for you anyway.

PS hope you are OK but either way, I don't need to be a doctor to diagnose that your partner is an arsehole. Best of luck

I wish now I had of gone when I should have, I remember the receptionist saying I shouldn't cancel she must have thought I was a right idiot, we are actually not together but I still refer to him as my partner not sure why.

If I was being very charitable I might say that if he's had no experience of cancer scares within his family, and doesn't understand that a 2wk referral means its bloody urgent, and maybe if he only has one holiday a year and it couldn't be moved without losing money... Then maybe he's just an immature dick.

Sounds like it's good news he's no longer your partner though.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

If I was being very charitable I might say that if he's had no experience of cancer scares within his family, and doesn't understand that a 2wk referral means its bloody urgent, and maybe if he only has one holiday a year and it couldn't be moved without losing money... Then maybe he's just an immature dick.

Sounds like it's good news he's no longer your partner though.

His father died of cancer so yeah he should understand really, and we could go away in his camper van whenever.

I’m confused. You’d already been to the hospital and found out everything was fine, and the 2 week appointment was after this with your GP again?
In which case no, the 2 weeks is just standard “non-urgent” GP waiting time and nothing was wrong anyway.
Or was it a 2 week wait to see a hospital specialist? Before you’d already found out it wasn’t serious?
In which case he’s being a moron. How can he expect you to both relax and enjoy a holiday with that hanging over you?

@SweetBabyCheeses99

I’m confused. You’d already been to the hospital and found out everything was fine, and the 2 week appointment was after this with your GP again? In which case no, the 2 weeks is just standard “non-urgent” GP waiting time and nothing was wrong anyway. Or was it a 2 week wait to see a hospital specialist? Before you’d already found out it wasn’t serious? In which case he’s being a moron. How can he expect you to both relax and enjoy a holiday with that hanging over you?

Sorry i had an appointment to see a specialist at the hospital at the same time we were due to go on holiday, I had no idea if it was serious or not and no I didn't enjoy the holiday.

Yeah, he's absolutely a dick then.

What's the story - he's not your partner but you call him that?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Yeah, he's absolutely a dick then.

What's the story - he's not your partner but you call him that?

We've had problems lately been on a break but I think it's definitely over now

He was a nice guy in other ways though, he bought me very thoughtful gifts for Christmas/ birthdays, he used to pick me up from work to save me walking, I don't understand why something as serious as this he brushed aside as if it was nothing, I'm confused whether I'm making the right decision to not get back together with him.

Can anyone advise me further what to do? I'm panicking I've made the wrong decision leaving him.

You have to make your own decision, we can't tell you but it doesn't bode well in a life partner that he can't empathise with you. You hardly have to be very sensitive, or experienced in life, to realise this was way more important to you, and him if he cares at all, than a bloody holiday

If my partner was ill then I would have cancelled the holiday. Unless she wanted to go.

It was very selfish of him to talk to into going.

I think you've probably made the right move getting shot of him. In your moment of need, he showed himself to be cold hearted. And that's what matters. Not silly gifts of picking you up from work when it suits him.

Hee chose his own fun over your health.
Thats not partner material.

But he used to go out of his way to help me always been very generous from day 1, I remember our first date i offered to buy our drinks but he said "no I'll pay you will never have to pay for a thing".
Just feel gutted that he thought my hospital referral would be ok to wait for another week, I remember when we was away I kept touching my lump, he reassured me it would be nothing to worry about.

A man paying for drinks on a first date is not a big thing deal though op.

But a man telling me I'd never have to pay for a thing...I might take as a red flag. Because I'm a grown woman and I can pay my way in life. I'd worry that he was going to turn out to be controlling...

And here sure enough you had an appointment to porentislly diagnose cancer and he was like 'fuck it, it'll wait, I want a holiday'.

Dunno op, wouldn't sit well with me.
And tbh you haven't said anything good about him apart from he buys you shit. So do love bombers and it's not a good thing when it comes from them. It's just designed to make you excuse their shitty behaviour. Which guess what? You are currently thinking of doing!

Just struggling to accept he was a wrong un, and I didn't see earlier the type of man he is.