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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I stay friends with this man now?

13 replies

Elliebb57 · 01/10/2021 17:35

We go back a long way (28 years) Broke up, he married and I was in a relationship too, saw each (2011)..He was leaving his wife so we got together, he was working nights at a hotel and just a year in I found out he was cheating with a colleague younger than him..We split for 9 months then got back ,he ended with her as they weren't on the same page, now the trust had gone but the love was still there.. We kept arguing and split again, but carried on talking as friends but stupidly ended up fwbenefits, anyway 2 months ago we went our separate ways again..(his decision again) and he said we need distance but he calls when he feels like it ,I don't bother..He still lives with his mum and drinks every day..He said some horrible stuff and now says he's doing better without me...Says he's not met anyone..Not sure about that..My point is I don't think I can keep him in my life..Can we be friends after every thing that's happened...

OP posts:
LittleMissNaice · 01/10/2021 17:37

No you can't be friends, and why on earth would you want to be? He's treated you appallingly

Spindrifting · 01/10/2021 17:37

Why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn't seem to bring anything to your life except unpleasant drama?

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/10/2021 17:38

No. Of course you can’t.

Stop treating yourself like absolute shit, via him.

HollowTalk · 01/10/2021 17:42

Why would you want a friend like that? Be a good friend to yourself and get rid of that loser.

IrishMel · 01/10/2021 18:25

I would not have contact with him as he does not seem like a good person. It brings too much drama into your life and he lies so much. You deserve much better and just ignore his calls/texts as he adds nothing to your life.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/10/2021 18:40

Why would you want to be friends with him?

TheFoundations · 01/10/2021 18:42

It sounds like you feel like there's pressure to be his friend. Where is that coming from?

Elliebb57 · 01/10/2021 19:19

@TheFoundations

It sounds like you feel like there's pressure to be his friend. Where is that coming from?
Theres no pressure to be his friend , we just have a lot of history together ..Plus hes got a bag of stuff at my place and im messaging him and hes not replying, hes very narcissitic and manipulating...
OP posts:
Spindrifting · 01/10/2021 20:02

You don’t owe him friendship, and you can certainly tell him his bag of stuff is going in the garage and then to a charity shop if he doesn’t pick it up in a week.

supercali77 · 01/10/2021 20:06

Op you know him and say he's manipulative and narcissistic? Which means you know you can never have a sincere relationship of any kind with him. Figure out why you keep trying to find ways to keep someone like this in your life

layladomino · 01/10/2021 21:00

Why would you want to be his friend? Read your Op again - in what way has he treated you like a friend? Does he deserve your friendship? What do you gain by being his 'friend'?

He is no friend of yours. He wouldn't have treated you so shoddily if he actually liked you or respected you. He sounds awful and you can do much better when choosing a bf or a friend. He just seems to being drama and crisis and upset, and messes with your head. Seriously, why would you want that?

Rainbowqueeen · 01/10/2021 21:05

No
It’s a waste of your time and energy and takes away from you spending time and energy on people who add value to your life
Block and delete.

SleepingBunnies21 · 02/10/2021 09:09

No.

He's not friend material.

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