My boyfriend just gave me a “stay positive” mug!

[Alwayswanting1]

Probably just being ott but I’m a bit offended, I don’t have to be positive all the time. When it’s shit it’s shit! If I want to rant I’ll rant doesn’t mean I’m not positive.

Am I over reacting here?

Well I got my Dad a “worlds best Dad” mug and it went down hill after that!

If I was really irritated I might accidentally knock it off the side. Oh dear, my new cup!

A friend gave me one that said bloom wheee you are planted
A) I have 10million cups and no room for another
B) it’s elephant sized
C) i fucking hate where I live and I refuse to bloom

It’s gone in the latest charity donations

I’m not a positive person, to put it mildly. I’d like to be, but I’m too cautious/anxious.

I have a t shirt which says “POSITIVE VIBES ONLY” in giant letters. DH cracks up whenever I put it on, which makes me smile too

Make half a cup of tea in it 🥳

@SparklingLime

You could drop it from a height…

Weirdly, that's exactly what I would do with it.

Fuck the mug! Fuck positivity! Why should you make tea in it? Rant away to your heart's content!

@remainsofthesummer

Make half a cup of tea in it 🥳

Will that be half-full or half-empty???

Ugh, if you have 'really heavy' stuff going on, rather than just moaning about the weather or whatever, then I'd feel this as veering towards toxic positivity and be pissed off myself.

If you think he meant it kindly then I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Unless he's generally a thoughtless arse and this is just one example, in which case that's another matter.

But if you have big stuff going on, and he's generally a supportive bf, then I wouldn't waste any energy being offended by a mug.

Yeah I do have really heavy stuff going on and he does tend to say the right things and perhaps I vent a bit much but this mug feels very dismissive. I feel a bit oh perhaps I shouldn’t say too much anymore.

I told him at the beginning the situation with my children and there father and now after years I’m being taken to court. I’m stressed. I lost a parent a few years ago and miss them at the moment. Amongst other things like trying to pay the bills and being split into 20 people as a single parent with no father around.

I've got a mug that says 'relentless optimist' that my husband bought me as a joke because I'm really really not. It's my favourite mug cos it's funny. You could practise your best dark glower to wear over your sunshiny mug?

If he’s generally being supportive about it in real life then I’d think of this as a top up bit of support when he’s not there perhaps?

I’m triggered that’s what it is because my ex husband was abusive before him and he used to say to me stop being so negative.

I feel like I've trivialised it now with my relentless optimism mug. You don't have to stay positive. I think I would feel the same as you.

I think he's maybe just being a bit clumsy but is in some way trying to help/be hopeful that your heavy shit gets a good outcome?

@remainsofthesummer

Make half a cup of tea in it 🥳

Will that be half-full or half-empty???
The point is - the cup is re-fillable

Sorry @Alwayswanting1 I realise you hate that kind of Sh*te and I'm totally with you.

I agree with a previous poster - I think maybe you're partner has been a bit clumsy about it - but the gesture was probably meant to be light hearted and he's trying to be supportive.

It actually must be hard for him to hear you go through these difficult times - and ultimately he can't get involved and help. Men like to "fix" problems and by the sounds if it your partner can't "fix" the issues you're going though.

Enjoy your cup of tea and just try not to over think this gift.

Good Luck with your troubles

That sounds shit op

I think people mostly mean well with this kind of thing but it misses the mark.

I had a colleague whose thing was to “be happy no matter what”. occasionally when things were a bit rubbish she would still have this grin aggressively fixed onto her face and she’d talk to you through gritted teeth. I’m all for trying to be positive but there’s a limit, it’s healthy to have negative emotions and show them sometimes.

@Honeyroar

If he’s generally being supportive about it in real life then I’d think of this as a top up bit of support when he’s not there perhaps?

This. Hang in there OP

You do sound a little negative OP.

I’d feel the same OP. Not for others or a mug to tell you how you should feel. Support you on feeling positive but not tell you.