Step children positive stories

[Upupandiwent]

Dating a man with young children. Age 9 and 11. My own are grown up. I've been single for ages and he's the best man I've ever met. He gets on well with their mum. I know there will be problems but I want to know positive stories and how to navigate it. I've not met the kids yet.

My daughter and
My partner’s daughter are about those ages. When we met up with the kids we did fun activities like bowling and adventure park so it was a good experience for them
Rather than meeting in someone’s home.

Also (And people might not agree with this) we didn’t tell them we were dating or bf / gf we just said friends. And we’ve never actually told them at any point it just developed. My bf then moved in with me about a year ago and his daughter stays half the week.

You just need to do things
With them they like and be kind and they’ll think of you as a nice person. Not overboard or to bribe them but so that’s the impression they get that you have fun days out etc

I started seeing my widowed partner when his son was 8 (and I had no children). It was pretty horrendous for a while as he felt threatened by me. He was quite mean to me tbh. I stuck it out and he is now 21. SO proud of him, love him to bits and he comes to me for advice and support as well as his dad. I have no regrets - best thing I've ever done

Well you've allready got children of your own and would know what to expect from children of that age, but it's a bit different when they aren't yours, if his parenting style is different to yours and he doesn't discipline his children the way you would that could cause problems especially if oyy love together and they are in your house, if you ever move in together then his children will be around, even if you wanted to go away for the weekend or a week away, there's quite alot of restrictions when someone has children to look after in where you can go and what you can do. Then any special events like Xmas, birthdays, mothers days etc get complicated in who's going where and alot of ferrying children around.
If your happy to potentially play a step mum role then I don't see any problems to be honest, but it's not fair on the kids if a few years down the line you decide its not for you