There’s a thread here if anyone want to search. Yes I know what I am but I don’t need reminding of that.
I confronted the man who anally raped this yesterday. Calling it that is still hard. I still can’t accept it and that I was the victim.
I’ve stayed away from him did 2 mths but yesterday an opportunity presented itself where I could pull up in car.
I simply wanted to tell him I had no choice but to tell his girlfriend he was cheating with me, that he had become dangerous , that’s I’m sure he had blamed me and claimed it was a one off mistake when it wasn’t and what happened that night at x was rape. That he knew I didn’t want THAT.
He was dismissive throughout the 3 minute interaction. He even said you can go now (my name) and I said I was anyway.
I wanted closure. I wanted an apology. I wanted to forgive him and see the man I fell for all those years ago.
Instead I got a cold man, bar a fleeting moment of Us looking at each other and having to look away, who was cowardly, dismissive and determined to carry on the shitstorm of a lie with his latest victim.
I’ve been having anxiety feelings and panic attacks since.