Cross with friend, fed up

[Ulcer]

My son has always walked home from school with my friends daughter but recently his other friends (boys) have been walking home the same way so as soon as he see's them he's runs off playing as boys do.

My friends daughter "puts a face on" and walks grumpily with the adults.

Anyway a few days ago my friend whispered to me that her DD was very upset with my son as always used to walk with her yet now runs off and plays with other people without including her.

I thought 'fair enough' and pulled DS aside and told him that since he had always walked with her previously he should now make the effort to include her in his games with his other friends on the way home from school so he did straight away. He grabbed her, shouted "you're on my team...come on!" etc and they all ran off together playing. Friend had big grin on face and said "thanks" and I felt quite pleased and proud of DS.

Anyway they've played together since but last night we were walking home and DS's friends were not around so it was just him and the girl until one of her friends ran up, started chatting to her and then they ran off arm in arm. DS ran after them they both turned around quite nasty and shouted "get lost, this is private!" and he came back to me looking quite down. I looked at friend and she just smiled.

Tonight the same thing happened, her DD ran off with 2 other girls and just pushed DS out of the way or told him to go away so he walked with us yet friend said nothing and just laughed.

Am i taking this too personally or what? I'm quite annoyed about it.

oh god, I just let my dcs get on with it - I refuse to become part of it.

How old are they?

God no, thats awful and would really upset me if that happened to my son, but I probably wouldnt have said anything either. If it happens again, maybe you should say to your friend what she said to you about ds being upset.

They're 8. I wouldnt normally get involved but its the fact that she asked me to intervene when her dd was being left out but just laughed and smiled when it was her DD doing it to my son.

I'd say something about how double standards for boys and girls start young today. Then I'd punch her. But I get the red mist, so don't take my advice.

Sounds familiar. My DS(8) has a friend(girl) where this is a common pattern of behaviour.

I don't think your friend should have asked you to intervene in the first place. However she should have told her DD not to leave your DS out. Maybe she will have a little chat with her about how your DS must feel when she leaves him out.

It is annoying isn't it?

think you're being a bit OTT, just let them get on with it.

The next time your ds's friends come along and he goes off with them, say nothing - just smile

If your friend is not going to insist that her dd includes your ds, then why should you ???

Silly behaviour I know, but it'll save a big falling out.

How do they manage to "play" whilst walking home from school?

I'd just leave it...BUT, if the situation reverses again, you tell your ds to play with who he chooses and don't try to interfere. And if your mate has anything to say about it, point out the double standard and say you've decided not to interfere again.