Partner asked my parents to lend him money

[Scot46]

I am so angry I can't think straight. My 85 Yr old mom.has told me that my partner of 4 yrs has been to see her and asked her to lend him £2000. He also told her not to tell me about the conversation. She has been holding onto the secret for months and it's made her so stressed she has had to tell me. She didn't lend him the money but I am so angry I don't know what the reasoned response to this is. Is dumping him too harsh ?

No, not at all. I would.

In answer to your question no it is not.

I'd be livid too OP. That's sneaky of him and putting the burden onto her of having to keep a secret. I don't think I could be with him any longer after this.

No. Dump him and check your mother's security. I'd also have a chat with the police, personally. I realise he probably didn't break the law, but that sounds intimidating and coercive.

No its not too harsh. He tried to get money out of a elderly lady and told her to keep it secret. I would be raging at this. Who the hell does he think he is?

Sorry but that would be a deal breaker for me.

Asking your mother, behind your back is bad enough.

Asking an 85 year old.. shameful.

What did he want it for?
Dump him and then make sure your mothers and your money is secure. Change bank passwords etc…

Dump! But I’d first want to know why?

I'd 100% dump him but would also want to know what he wanted the money for and if he got it elsewhere.

The only thing he can possibly want to keep a secret for £2000 where he might ever possibly this to be ok is an engagement ring, surely?

What did he say he needed it for?
If the roof was collapsing and he knew it would stress you out. Hmmm maybe.
But I reckon that wasn't it. Debts, probably?

And dumping is exactly the right call. Your poor mum.

Do you have dcs together, join assets (House etc) ? If not, just dump. You can't trust him. Run.

What did he want the money for?

If it was for a medical procedure that he didn’t want to worry you about that might be ok.

I can’t think of anything else that would be an ok reason to ask her for money. Certainly without asking you first. Bizarre and underhand behaviour.

That's disgusting, not only asking her but asking her to keep it from you.

Dumping, without a shadow of a doubt

Definitely ask why. And then put him out on his ear....

WHAT?! That is dreadful. What sort of situation is he in that he needed to resort to this?

Or is he just a chancer?

Either way, it's clear he is up to no good.

You don't want to be in a relationship with someone like this and your mother shouldn't have to be around him, don't put her in the position of having to see him again.

Your boyfriend tried to scam your mum and you're thinking dumping him might be too harsh? Do you live with this boyfriend?

The lowest of the low.

There is no excuse for this. But I'm sure he'll come up with some very plausible ones, if need be, that practically put a halo over his head, armour over his body, a sword in his hand, and a noble steed.

I'm afraid we have one of these in my family, and he burned so many good people, it was not funny. Always making sure his wife was never told, 'to protect her'. She feels so embarrassed and ashamed now, and worries that people think she knew or should have known what was going on.

I'd get the hell rid, and make damned sure everyone knew I'd done so, and why.

Dump

Oh my god - your poor mum. And you! What a horrible thing. I would want to know what the hell he wanted the money for. But to put her in that situation would be a deal breaker for me.

I'd be furious and would absolutely leave him over this.

That is unbelievably awful. Your poor mother. No I would never forgive him.

Dump him