What to do? Help please

[Thewitchonthemoon]

I have name changed for this as previous posts could be outing. Will try to keep it concise.

I have a 3 year old daughter with my ex, we split when she was two months old in 2018, been single and celibate ever since.

We don’t have the same friendship group but I got to know and get on with most of his friends from when we were together.

One of his friends split with his wife early this year. They have a 6yr old son with autism. We got chatting on FB, one thing lead to another and now we’re in a situation where he comes to my house twice every week. When we first started chatting, he said that we couldn’t ever be more than friends because of my ex and the fact he barely has any free time because of his son, but still wanted to meet up. So as not to drip feed, his ex is a real piece of work, mine isn’t the best either.

It’s been three weeks now and he has told me he really likes me and misses me when he’s not with me and I don’t know what to do. He has his son every weekend and 2 nights in the week, so I don’t Know where this could go, if anywhere. It’s also only been 3 week so very early, but I do like him too.

I have been invited out for a drink by an old male friend on Friday also, I kind of want to keep my options open as he hasn’t said anything to make me thing that he has changed his mind about us never being able to be more than just friends. Do I got for the drink? Part of me would feel guilty in doing so but on the other hand he has laid it out for me and we’re not official.

Many thanks if you have managed to take my rambling post in.

So far you're a booty call and it sounds as though that's all he wants. He has been very clear about where he stands so I think you're right to keep your options open. Go for a date with this man and see how it goes. If you don't want to be FWB with the other man, then I would end it before you get hurt.

Go for the drink. This situation with the friend doesn't sound promising, honestly. Too complicated for several reasons.

Stop seeing the first one and start seeing the next one! The first one is far too much trouble and it sounds like his ex as well.

If he has already told you that he cant be anything more than friends or FWB as it sounds like in all honesty, then listen to what he says. You have nothing to be guilty about, he isn't into having a relationship. Go out and enjoy this other date.

Thank you all. I was okay with it at first, I think I thought maybe when we got to know each other a bit he might reconsider. Even if he did, the situation would be pretty dire wouldn't it? He owns his own house, I can't go to his at all because apparently she has spies opposite, her friends watch what's going on with the house. She has no claim to it though as she's never worked or paid toward it. I thought I'd just give it a chance, he's really affectionate when he's here, and stays for hours just cuddling so I'm confused. Maybe I'll just have to start distancing myself.

Ah, yes 'My ex is a psycho'. Red flag

Thank you all. He came over last night and I asked if he thought we'd ever be more than 'Friends'. Once again he said there were too many obstacles in the way. So that's it. I told him we wouldn't be having sex and that he wouldn't be coming over again. So that's that.

Well done OP, I know we sometimes dont listen to what men say but really we have to. If they say they dont want a relationship then we have to accept it and not try and hope they will change their mind. I made many mistakes in the past thinking a man will change their mind and want more than he was willing to give me. I got my heart hurt and learnt a good lesson. Always listen to what they tell you.