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Relationships

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Original poster

Being exclusive

9 replies

Moybrick · 29/09/2021 14:58

So I’m new to being back in the dating pool. I had a 10 year relationship, then dated someone I already knew for 2 years. Now this whole new world of online dating is a bit daunting.
I’ve met this guy I like, we went out last week, I’m seeing him again tonight. I really like him and he’s even said how well we get on and how he feels so relaxed. But I’m confused that he’s still been on the dating site, I assume talking to other women.
I know we are still very early days but the fact he asked me out again surely shows he’s interested? So I’m a bit curious why he’s still perusing other women.
Am I just being really naive and is it no longer expected to be exclusive with someone from the start?

OP posts:

Pinkbonbon · 29/09/2021 15:09

I wouldn't come off a dating site until at least or four dates in with someone tbh (basically, around the time that sex may be being cosidered). He may even have other dates lined up with other women still too.

Play it by ear and in maybe another two dates you can discus exclusivity. And maybe another 2 after that, a relationship. Ppl work at different paces of course bit I certainly wouldn't rule put dating other ppl on the basis of just one date.

If he was still on it in a month then you would have a problem though.

Pinkbonbon · 29/09/2021 15:10

*three or four dates in

DameMaureen · 29/09/2021 15:16

You're far too early in this game to even be thinking about this . Give it time .

Sunshineandflipflops · 29/09/2021 15:19

But to know he is still on the site, you must be too?

My partner and I became 'exclusive' after date 2. We both decided to delete the apps and see how we went.

BeepingBB · 29/09/2021 15:48

You've only met once. You're very early days dating.

I wouldn't expect him to come off OLD after 1 date!

Maybe after 3-6 months if you agree to be in a relationship?

Suitcaseseverywhere · 29/09/2021 15:49

I wouldn’t expect exclusivity until at least when you’re sleeping together.

Dandy0911 · 29/09/2021 15:50

I think you're expecting far too much this early on.

If I was him that would be a red flag for me to want him to be exclusive after meeting once.

solarsky · 29/09/2021 15:57

It's normal to stay on there for a few dates just to be sure you both like each other enough to be exclusive, doesn't mean he is interested in anyone else. See how it goes after this date and ask him, if he hesitates after a few dates then he's not the one for you.

litterbird · 29/09/2021 15:58

This is normal for on line dating....you shouldn't stop dating other people until you are ready to make a commitment to that person, that could take weeks or months. I used to have 2 or 3 dates lined up a week and continued even when I met the person I had a relationship with. Until then its normal, dont get stressed about it, you should just continue on too chatting to other men and making further dates. When you both come to the decision that you are ready to be exclusive then you both have that conversation to come off the dating site.

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