Am I horrible for this?

[ChocolateDream]

I've been seeing someone for a few months. I knew he had a son and he knew I had kids but we have not met each others children yet. Anyway at the weekend he told me for the first time that his son has "behavioural" problems. He is involved with social services who are helping him in someway but its apparantly still quite bad.

Anyway it's totally put me off and I know that sounds awful but I feel like its one thing I could do without really, nobody would "choose" to have a "difficult" child surely so am I really that horrible for choosing to walk away this time?

Well no not really. Your first priority surely is to your kids. How would they react to that environment. Sure it might be fine but it might also be hugely disturbing to them. Also if he's got problems already how is the upheaval of 'dad's new girlfriend and her associated brood' going to sit with him.

If you were totally confident in the relationship you wouldn't be so worried about this. Trust your instincts.

If you can walk away without even bothering to get to know the child then there's obviously not much going for your relationship with the parent.
If the child is really the reason you're walking away then the child would perhaps be better off without you in his life? So no, you're not horrible, just not right for that family.

The child isn't the reason you are walking away. You are just not that into him.

Yes, agree with others - perhaps you were subconsciously looking for an "exit" from the relationship anywa.

'behavioural problems' could mean anything. How old is the child? (surprised SS are involved with the behavioural side- they usually know bugger all - is clinical psychology or behavioural support involved- they would be more use).

if you walk away, just make sure you tell him it's because of you/the relationship, but not because of the child. It must be hard enough for him as it is knowing that his child has some issues and that ss are involved, without having to deal with being rejected by his gf because of it.

And reality is that if this relationship was worth anything you wouldn't be put off ty the child.

If you walked away from the relationship, do you think you would regret it and wished you had made a go of it and that you would miss this man? He obviously felt that your relationship was about to move up a level for him to tell you about his son and his behavioural problems. If I was going to end the relationship I would never say it was because of his son.