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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

After some advice

4 replies

SleepyHead4 · 29/09/2021 10:13

My OH and I have been together about 2 years now, we live together and have been engaged a month.
Since he popped the question he's been rather cold towards me. Now I don't think it's anything to do with this because around the same time his ex announced she was moving in with her BF which is ages away and it'll make it difficult for my OH to see his kids. I can understand why this would b upsetting for him but why on earth is he being really cold towards me?

As it stands at the moment his kids come to us EOW and one night through the week. I've suggested all sorts so we can see the kids more only to be met with we will be shattered. So I'm at a loss.

What I'm really not understanding is why he's bing so damn cold towards me when he's fine with everyone else. No love yous, no kind of any affection. He's not been near me intimately for nearly 3 weeks now either.

He doesn't talk to me like he used to, in fact he talks to his ex more now than he talks to me. He used to tell me everything, I feel like I'm losing him. But then he will come and hug me and tell me he loves me just to go cold again.

Has anyone else been through something similar or can shed any light on this? The stress of it is making me unwell.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 29/09/2021 11:06

Well you clearly think it has something to do with the ex otherwise why mention her decision to move in with someone and his conversations with her.

Presumably you think he proposed because of her new commitment and is now regretting it. The only way to find out is to talk to him. If you aren’t satisfied and aren’t getting what you need from him then you have decisions to make.

Alternatively he could be just unsettled by his children having a stepfather living with them. It might take him a bit of time to adjust. He’s probably not feeling the excitement of engagement or marriage because of that.

Thingsdogetbetter · 29/09/2021 11:31

Which came 1st, the ex moving in with bf (even him.finding about about the plan) or the proposal? I'd be concerned he did it as a fuck you to the ex and is now regreting it.

solarsky · 29/09/2021 14:22

Cold feet at the thought of marriage, have a discussion if anything about getting married is worrying him.

MinaPop · 29/09/2021 14:25

Have you asked him why he's being cold towards you? What did he say?

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