I had an abortion two months ago, for a variety of reasons. Not least of which being that my partner didn’t want it.
I take medication that is known to cause birth defects, the obstetrician was fairly confident the baby had not been exposed, but given the other circumstances I didn’t feel it was a risk worth taking.
I am absolutely devastated by this loss
I knew he didn’t want a baby before I fell pregnant. I have been saying for a year now I would like to have more babies (I have two) and he has given a variety of responses, but I knew he wasn’t interested.
That doesn’t make it easier. Knowing I had a baby, that he didn’t want.
I had my children when I was very young, my then partner worked a FIFO position, we didn’t share parenting and we separated when my daughter was 1, she is now 11.
I never felt like we shared a family. I felt very alone, and being so young was flat broke. It was not easy.
I am now at a place in life that I feel I could enjoy being pregnant, having a newborn, sharing it with my partner. I’m financially secure, our relationship is stable (well, was) we live in a happy home.
My partner not wanting our baby was absolutely gut wrenching. I hear the words in my head while I’m trying to fall asleep. It haunts me.
My therapist keeps telling me to allow myself to grieve.
I need to be able to forgive otherwise our relationship will be destroyed, but I feel so hurt and I don’t know how to get past it.
He didn’t want our baby because his children wouldn’t take it well.
He puts them above all else. They are horrible to him. They threaten to cut him off if he doesn’t do what they want. They only give him time when it suits them. They manipulate him and treat him like a doormat. Which is exactly how his ex wife treated him. It’s very hard to watch.
They are also not really interested in having a relationship with me. They haven’t accepted their parents separation and I suppose I’m a barrier to that relationship ever being repaired. I know it’s not personal, but it does hurt my feelings.
It’s all very hard for me to swallow.
To top it off, his daughter is about to give birth to his first grandchild.
I doubt very much I’ll be a part of the child’s life, which is probably for the best as I’ve really grown to hate his daughter though the way she treats my partner & the horrible things she has said about me.
I’m now at a point where I have to decide what is more important to me.
- Sharing a family
- Accepting that I won’t have anymore babies or be a part of his extended family
Or 3. Walking away entirely
Please. Can I hear your stories of leaving relationships to pursue family goals, or staying in spite of adversity’s like these