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Original poster

We see each other once a week

16 replies

Wawaaa · 27/09/2021 15:22

So me and my boyfriend have known each other for some time and started romantically back in March. He lives the next town over and doesn’t drive.

So anyway due to work and childcare commitments we see each other usually one night and day a week. He will come after work when he finishes which is late then stays. I feel like by now we should be staying together more often. I really miss him if it ends up being nearly two weeks since seeing each other. I straight up asked him if he wishes he could see me more. He just went straight into a rant how he can’t afford taxis and trains to work, which I understand but I find it hard to see him this little. I get the feeling he isn’t really into me if this is fine with him. Hes said he loves me but I don’t feel like it. He does like his space and I’m not suggesting we spend all our time together… am I being too needy

OP posts:
altmember · 27/09/2021 15:48

Well you say it's due to childcare commitments, and kids need to come first in these situations. I only usually see my partner once a fortnight because that's what our childcare arrangements dictate. Frustrating, but that's just the way it is.

Secondary issue is dating someone who doesn't drive. Depending on where you live, and public transport provision, it's likely to always be an major constraint.

ilovebw · 27/09/2021 15:51

I think at this stage it's natural to have wanted your relationship to have progressed a bit. I suppose it boils down to how much this current situation bothers you

Pinkbonbon · 27/09/2021 15:58

All else asside,I wouldn't want to date someone who went into a rant at me for asking for us to spend more time together. He sounds a bit of a dick.

ravenmum · 27/09/2021 16:07

I see mine 2x a week; it's what we both want. But this is not what you want.

He just went straight into a rant how he can’t afford taxis and trains to work
If he was halfway decent, he would have replied "Oh, I wish we could see more of each other, too, but alas..." or "Sorry, love, but it's just not what I'm looking for now" or "OK, how can we organise it, as I'm quite tight on cash?" Making it sound like you are horrible for costing him money = huge hooter sound.

solarsky · 27/09/2021 16:24

Doesn't sound like it would work in the long term, he can't afford the travel to stay with you, or could this be an excuse not to come over, do you drive?
I don't think you're too needy but everyone has different ideas on how often they want to see each other or perhaps he really can't afford to travel, even so do you want a relationship with a man who can't afford to travel just to the next town to see you more than once a week, him ranting about it doesn't exactly make you feel wanted.

coodawoodashooda · 27/09/2021 16:25

@ravenmum

I see mine 2x a week; it's what we both want. But this is not what you want.

He just went straight into a rant how he can’t afford taxis and trains to work
If he was halfway decent, he would have replied "Oh, I wish we could see more of each other, too, but alas..." or "Sorry, love, but it's just not what I'm looking for now" or "OK, how can we organise it, as I'm quite tight on cash?" Making it sound like you are horrible for costing him money = huge hooter sound.

Yep.
Viddy2021 · 27/09/2021 16:39

I agree, red fleg. Plus, what, he always comes over late? That's called a booty call.

Suprima · 27/09/2021 16:54

He is literally coming to your house for sex and his dinner

No dates, no fun, no wining and dining nor adventures.

He shouldn’t be doing long distance dating if he can’t afford public transport…

Original poster
Wawaaa · 27/09/2021 19:30

He comes around when he finishes work, before one of his days off. I do get that it will work for different people. I guess I just feel like we’re going nowhere

OP posts:
Watchingyou2sleezes · 27/09/2021 19:50

@Wawaaa

He comes around when he finishes work, before one of his days off. I do get that it will work for different people. I guess I just feel like we’re going nowhere
He's a broke loser. Bin him off.
Maybebaby8 · 27/09/2021 19:58

Oh no this wouldn't work for me either. If he can't afford the transport surely he would have looked at learning to drive?
By a year me and my partner were seeing each other most day's and weekends. Only not when he had his own children staying with him. I couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't progressing.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/09/2021 20:01

I think these replies could possibly be being harsh on him. What if money is tight? How often do you go to his to see him?

PolarSmile · 27/09/2021 20:57

@Maybebaby8 do you both have kids? If you don't then its a very different situation?

OP I know what you mean. Most relationships post kids I've seen my bf once or twice a week maximum, as if you both have kids and full time jobs then that's often the most you can manage unless/until you meet each others kids. I think I'd try to gauge whether he'd like to see you more but is restricted or whether he's just not very serious.

Theghostofchristmasarse · 27/09/2021 21:16

I've been with my BF longer than that, but we still only see each other once or maybe twice a week. We both miss each other when it's been a week and sometimes due to other commitments, seeing friends, my kids etc, it's been a couple of weeks since he's stayed over, but the difference is he will make the effort to see me during the day, or for an evening out, or even just lunch, if we can't manage a whole night...we speak every day and I know he'd like to see me more but it does work for us as we are both busy and have our own lives.
However, if I'd said I wanted to see him more, he would agree with me, then would arrange a time when we got proper time together to make up for it. He wouldn't rant or moan about the cost! (And he's skint, as am I 🤣)

Walkingalot · 27/09/2021 22:24

It doesn't sound like it's going to work for either of you. You want to see him more, he can't do that and had a rant about it. Nah OP, you can do better. My ideal is one eve during the week and one w/e evening with an occasional full day/night. Anything less makes me feel like it's a FWB situation, no progression.

Maybebaby8 · 28/09/2021 12:09

@PolarSmile yes we do both have children. By a year in we had met each others children as we knew it was a long term relationship. So it's not completely different

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