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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Zero sex drive

3 replies

LovelyMondayMornings · 27/09/2021 09:50

Just that really. My sex drive has got up and left and it's making me sad, my relationship is/will suffer and I'm just at a loss.

I have hypothyroidism along with some autoimmune issues. I'm married and love my husband but my sex drive is a big fat zero and has been for months.

DH is super patient and kind but I know he's missing the intimacy where as I genuinely feel like I could go the rest of my life with feeling the need to have sex.

Has anyone been in a similar boat and found a way to turn it around and if you had what helped?

I really should say that I couldn't be less interested in anyone who says "just do it" because frankly I will not put myself in a position of doing something I don't want to do to appease anyone and equally my husband does not want to have sex with someone who is forcing it.

I would like any other advice as I can't see my marriage surving long term the way things are and I would love to see a return of my sex drive. I just don't know where to start.

I'm only 30 😔

OP posts:

ImJustMum · 27/09/2021 09:57

Im the same age and in the same boat. But its because im exhausted. Im up with the kids all day, i work nights, snatch a few hours sleep and start all over again. Im tired in every way a person can be tired and its made my sex drive just disappear.

Bassetlover · 27/09/2021 12:10

Same, perimenopausal and zero interest. No advice but just wanted to say you're not alone. Maybe a sex therapist with your partner could give you some activities or advice?

Original poster

LovelyMondayMornings · 27/09/2021 12:48

Thank you both, I think I need to speak to someone by myself first and see what they think and then bring in DH if they think it would be beneficial.

I think DH's sex drive was always higher than mine and I've always had a it's nice to have but not essential attitude. I was single for 4 years when eldest DD was little and I was OK with not having sex during that time. I do wonder if it's fully down to my medical issues or if there is something in my mind that has just switched off if that makes sense?

I think I'm fun to be around, we have a laugh together, we rarely fight but I know this will eventually become a deal breaker for him.

OP posts:

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