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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I cried in front of my girlfriend and feel ashamed

3 replies

mrl1234 · 27/09/2021 08:44

Yesterday we were at a huge wedding party, with the family of my girlfriend. It was so great, that my face still hurt from laughing and smiling. However late at the party, my girlfriend put her hand on the cheek of the DJ to request a song, and then i went outside. My gf quickly came and asked if i was OK, and i started crying, alot. She at first thought that this was her fault, but i really dont think it is and i assured her that. I am one of the least jealous people i know, and i trust her more than anything. So i think the reason is my backstory.

I have had to earlier relationships, where i gave 100% of myself and all the trust in the world. Both times they were unfaithful - Later my dad was my mother unfaithful. This hurt a lot ofc, but i really never spoke to anyone about it or let my feelings out. So i think all my feelings just had to come out after this event. Now my gf says that im really brave and so happy that i finally opened up - and it was because i felt so secure with her, which is fantastic.

However i cant stop feeling a little ashamed, and think that she might feel that she need to change the way she is. She is very social and touch, which is alright. Because i know she is like that always, and not to a specific person. Is it normal to feel this way?

OP posts:
ravenmum · 27/09/2021 09:07

That feeling of shame is a good thing, if it stops you behaving badly towards your gf in future, and makes you work on your problems, seek professional help etc.
You're lucky your gf was so understanding, but you do need to take responsibility as an adult and sort your head out before it gets you into trouble.

whoami24601 · 27/09/2021 09:19

In what way was the OP 'behaving badly'?! There's no need to feel ashamed of crying. Sounds like you've had a lot to deal with but you trust your gf and recognise it is your issue. She probably feels closer to you now you've opened up emotionally to her.

ravenmum · 27/09/2021 09:22

As it says in the OP, their gf simply touched another person and they acted in a way that made her feel like she had done something bad. That's not great behaviour.

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