Please help. So depressed

[Isla3354]

NC as could be outing.
Been with my partner a long time. Children together. We are not married and I live in his home (bought). For the past 3 month he’s just been “off” like I can’t explain. He has shown absolutley no interest in me, (no sex or even attempted for 7 weeks) there’s never been a problem in that area, any chance he can get to be away from us he takes doing hobbies etc. he does very little with the children. I’m so so fed up. I’ve tried to explain to him how lonely I am feeling and he’s response every time is “he’s allowed to do hobbies, he dosent want to be with us all the time” but he’s never in. He’s out for work before the kids wake and he’s home when there in bed. We haven’t even slept in the same room for 2 weeks. He’s in the spare room. I’m currently laid in bed whilst I can hear him laughing away to tv, and I’m crying my eyes out. I have never felt so rejected, alone and unwanted so much in my life. I work part time and really cannot afford to rent anywhere at the moment. I’ve asked him if he could go to his family’s for a few days so I can have some space and he obviously refused. We literally are at the point we’re we walk past each other in the house. No talking. But I feel so suffocated. I don’t know what to do I feel so awkward and If I had the money I would run as fast as I could. Please what can I do in this horrid situation.

Also. Whenever I ask to do my hobbies or just simply have a break. “I’m a mum, this is what mums do”. 😭

Has he met somebody else?

Shame you're not married. You've got no rights as an unmarried partner. I hate to say it, but there may we'll be an OW lurking in the background somewhere. Maybe you need to have a proper discussion with him about what's going on, how he's feeling and what can be done to improve things for you both. I would suggest you put yourself on the council's waiting list for properties NOW, in case it all goes wrong.

I have asked that question. And he says absolutley not. But he can’t give me a reason why he’s acting this way. He says it’s me but it’s not I do literally everything I just want him to spend some time with us. I want him to want me again. If I didn’t have kids I would rather be sleeping on a park bench at this moment in time. The awkwardness is getting too much and I’m feeling so alone. I really don’t know what to do

That sounds awful. He’s being a dick - he’s gaslighting you. don’t put up with this. Serious conversation with him about his behaviour and don’t ask to do your hobbies just do them. When he walks in the door you walk out - go and see a friend, for a run, whatever will help you. Do you think he’s seeing someone else?

Friends I’ve spoken to about it and have said grin and bear it save money etc. but honest I can’t go another day like this it’s breaking my heart

I can’t have a serious conversation he just rolls his eyes and says hear we go again. He said that he likes time away from me and kids he needs it as they “stress him” honestly. I pounded my heart out to him the other day, got abit upset and there was absolutley no emotion in his face. Low and behold nothings changed. What’s point 😭

I'm sorry but I think you need to be prepared. You know the drill. Collect financial information. Make sure you can prove what he earns. Check the Govt benefits calculator.

Make sure you have an emergency float. Talk to your family, talk to the council housing dept, talk to woman's aid. At least if you have a plan, you will feel more positive,

I can’t afford private. So I got in touch with my local council a few weeks ago and they said average wait for a house in my area between 5-10 years. I never thought I’d be in this situation

I’m sorry it sounds like he’s already left the relationship. Make plans, take control - you will be much happier long term out of this set up.

How old are DC? When I was in a similar position, I was in a private rented but no way could afford it alone. I was entitled to HB and Council Tax Benefit, which juat about covered my rent etc so I was OK.
DC were under 5 though and not in FTE.

My children are 11 months and 6

Do you have any family you could live with temporarily? He sounds totally disinterested in you and the dc. As MintJulia says, get your ducks in a row. He owes you nothing legally, but you can put in a cms claim even if still living under the same roof, but separately.