He’s cheated on me…again

[Cocopogo]

So many reasons to run. Please help me stay strong and not fall for his crap again.
Been together just under three years, don’t live together so should be a nice clean break. I’m trying not to feel sad and just stay angry. He cheated on my last year, and now I found he had joined Bumble and was chatting to several women off their. My family, friends and DC think he’s a lovely decent man. He’s got worse morals than a dog. He’s put his own sexual gratification before our lives/family that we built together. He knows I’ve been hurt in the past and promised he wasn’t like that. It seems they all are, or at least the ones that are left. I won’t forgive him this time. It’s isn’t just the cheating, it’s the mood swings, the misogyny and the shit sex.

I'd get yourself down the clinic for an sti test. Youre probably fine BUT every time you even remotely consider giving the nasty specimen any of your time again, remember the embarrassment and worry of having to sit there I'm that doctors surgery waiting to find out if he could potentially have given you an incurable sti.

I've broken up with guys in the past who have had nothing else wrong other than the slightest whiff of mysoginy. Because men that even just 'might' be mysoginistic are potentially a danger to be around. Take no chances.

Good on you for telling him to bolt!

Thanks. I’ll have a look online for a home test. Can’t face the doctors surgery. But yes you’re right, I’m angry at myself for not running sooner.

Don’t trick yourself into staying with him because ‘they’re all like this’

They’re not.

As pp said
Go get an std check
And imagine yourself doing what he did to you
Cheating is never right but this isn’t just a one time drunken mistake
He’s done it before and then he was actively trying to do it again
You’d only be back to that clinic in 6 months if you stayed

Sounds like he's done you a favour ,showing his true colours before you move in , marry etc, 1st betrayal would have been one too many for me , plus his other traits .
Good riddance to him, there are good men out there .

Well it hasn’t been my finest day. I messaged his friend and now I’ve been called unhinged, amongst other things.

the cheating, the mood swings, the misogyny and the shit sex

Well doesn’t he sound like a peach?!

And now you’re being called unhinged.
Block them all. And remember that list of unedifying things above. Why would you want that?

Why (and what) are you messaging his friend?

It’s possible to leave with your dignity and self worth. I did from a serial cheater. The first time is awful, such a shock. But the second almost worse because now we know there is zero hope, and that staying is choosing a life where we don’t matter, even to ourselves. We can’t respect ourselves if we stay and we know it.

Which is what makes it hard of course. You know there is no way back this time. Your mind will be frantically panicking and trying to find hope. But there is none.

You can still choose to stay of course. But you know how rubbish that will make you feel about yourself. And even the sex is shit? Wow bin. I can’t tell you how fantastic it is to find a partner who is great in bed! Now os your chance. Get out and get someone sexier!

He sounds like a fucking loser and you sound great.

Why on earth are you messaging his friend?

Just block and delete.

My dog has impeccable morals actually, he would never betray me 😌
Anyway , your bf sounds like a twat, why would you want to stay with him?

So he's unfaithful... but you're unhinged 😳

Riiiiight pal... text book prick ..

Keep walking OP... don't look back..

He’s showing you who he is, believe him. Do not fall for pointless words which have zero validity.

Sorry you’re having to go through this.

Don’t text his friend again. There’s nothing to say. Just leave him to be someone else’s problem .
If you take him back you’ll be facing this exact same shit in 6 months , then another 6 months after that and so on. Aren’t you worth more than that

Thanks I know you’re all right. And it’s true my mind is frantically racing to try to find hope but I know 6 months later it’ll be the same. I just need some time to myself to get sorted. I need to work out what I want and make some changes in all areas

@Cocopogo

Thanks I know you’re all right. And it’s true my mind is frantically racing to try to find hope but I know 6 months later it’ll be the same. I just need some time to myself to get sorted. I need to work out what I want and make some changes in all areas

it's over

You'd only lose your dignity if you took him back again.

Read this every time you think about going back there

Hope?

I refer you back to what you said originally:

the cheating, the mood swings, the misogyny and the shit sex

You might be initially apprehensive about going it alone. That’s fair enough. But I tell you what, it’s a damn sight better than dealing with THAT. That is soul destroying.

Walk away, with your dignity and self-esteem in tact.
And block and delete anyone who you might be tempted to message on all forms of communication.

Fuck the "cheating", he's shit in bed, who needs that?!