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Original poster

1st Birthday in relationship

12 replies

IsThisIt2021 · 26/09/2021 16:04

When in a new relationship, at what point did birthdays become something to celebrate together? He spent yesterday with family and friends drinking/partying. No idea if it’s continuing today but been told he’ll likely see me tomorrow. I’ve wished him Happy birthday obviously but just wondering if I should feel slightly put out that he doesn’t appear to want to spend any of his day with me?

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 26/09/2021 16:54

Depends how long you've been seeing each other for.

Navian · 26/09/2021 23:03

Errrmmm from the start of he likes you Confused
Sorry he's clearly letting you know that he doesn't consider you as serious and he isn't committed to you.
I know it's harsh but he's giving you everything you need to know about your future with this guy.

seensome · 26/09/2021 23:13

Agree @Navian
If you're not invited, I would think he's not too sure on your status together but even if it was too early to introduce you most men would prefer to be with the lady they are seeing if they like them enough.
Hope you didn't spoil him because he doesn't deserve it from you.

Nowomenaroundeh · 26/09/2021 23:25

Have you met any people in his life? How long are you together?

Cas112 · 27/09/2021 16:01

How long have you been together? I would be confused why my boyfriend of any length of time didnt want me to celebrate with him or at least see me at some point over his birthday.

Have you asked, what should we do to celebrate your birthday? See what his response is?

Pinkbonbon · 27/09/2021 16:14

I think it depends each year. I wouldn't expect my partner to spend every birthday with me. But I'd expect to see him on or around our birthdays. Maybe the day after or day before if not the actual day.

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/09/2021 17:08

If this is a very new relationship then it’s likely he made his birthday plans before he knew whether you’d even still be seeing each other by now. I wouldn’t have expected him to cancel those, and it seems he’s arranged some plans with you tomorrow, which seems fair enough.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/09/2021 17:10

From the start as long as you've been together at least a month I'd say. Unless they already had made plans before you got together.

SheWoreYellow · 27/09/2021 17:12

I’d agree with about a month.

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/09/2021 17:38

I can’t think of anything worse tbh than feeling pressure to spend a large portion of my birthday with a near stranger I’d only met four weeks previously! That’s very early days and could mean you’d only seen them four or five times before. I wouldn’t expect anything more than a happy birthday text at that point in a “relationship.”

middlingmess · 27/09/2021 19:48

I wouldn't necessarily expect to go to a family/friends thing within a month of exclusively dating (unless I thought the relationship had potential to be a proper relationship on day) but I would expect to do something to celebrate it together.

Navian · 27/09/2021 22:34

The point is the OP has come on a forum to ask because, let's be honest, she's upset her new bf hasn't involved her in his plans.
If he likes you no matter how early the relationship is he'd include you In his plans. Even if it was to just pop by and meet his friends.
This is a red flag.
This guy isn't too fussed.
This has clearly upset you. I wouldn't be happy.

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