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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to fully let go? Resentment

2 replies

SoWhat00 · 26/09/2021 11:15

There was a guy I was previously with and really fell for. I didn't realise at the time but it was a classic narcissist love bomb then discard situation. I really trusted him and we shared our hardships and leant on eachother...until one day he discarded me. He then went on to throw everything I told him in trust back into my face which hurt beyond belief but insisted he still wanted to be friends with me. He is manipulative and whenever I brought up how unfairly I've been treated he'd twist it round to the point I'd end up apologising. It was really such a mind fuck time and really messed with my head.

Well after a while of this I eventually told him I'm done with him and his "friendship". I cut all contact and removed him from all socials.

The thing is, I literally don't fancy the man at all anymore and he clearly doesn't care about me at all, but I am so angry about what happened and it consumes me sometimes. So angry about him tricking me into trusting him then using what I've said against me. So angry that he could suddenly discard me one day. Painted me out to be dramatic and emotional when he provoked me all the time. I'm so glad I'm out of it and want nothing to do with the guy. But I sit here thinking, how can someone do all that to someone else? How was I so dumb? And sometimes I look at my phone hoping he's text me one day and own up to all the shit he did to me just and apologising just so I can get closure really, but I know that's not going to happen and if it did he wouldnt mean it anyway and would just be another manipulative tactic. The thought of him with someone else riles up emotions with me not because I'm jealous just because it frustrates me how someone can just discard someone and move on without a second thought - he has a pattern of this and I just hate how he uses women and I feel so disappointed in myself I fell for it all

I'm just so angry. I think about it all the time. I've had no contact with the guy for weeks now and still the anger flows through me every so often.

How do I let go?

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 26/09/2021 12:47

Block him

TheTrinity · 26/09/2021 16:47

You are already beginning to recover. I am so sorry this happened to you. Whatever you do continue with no contact. Please, please find support for yourself. There is a lot of information out there guiding you through each and every emotion you are feeling and will feel as you get back to yourself. Trust me do not waste a single thought or second on him. He is worthless and he knows it. Please focus on yourself and your healing. You are valuable to him and he took what he needed and wants to keep you around to use you some more if the opportunity came. That's why no contact is the only way to starve them. It's going to take time but will be worth it.

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