Sex troubles

[Gemini94]

I’m 27 female… been with my partner for 9 years and got 2 amazing kids.
Over the last few years I’ve not been bothered about sex, I’ve always had a low sex drive but in the last year or so I’ve come to dread sex, sometimes I want it but then during I get anxiety. I feel awkward afterwards and have to have a shower. Sometimes I feel like my body is rejecting him and find most times it’s not enjoyable, I haven’t discussed this with him in too much detail because I don’t want him feeling like it’s his fault, I love my partner as much now as I did 9 years ago, I still find him attractive and always show affection. I don’t know why I feel the way I do about sex, has anyone else had this problem??

When I was on the pill it killed my sex drive and I felt as you described. It took four months to come back to life.

Pretty normal at this stage of a relationship. It’s why there’s the so called “7 year itch”. The hormones have died down a lot so the urge fades enough to be under your trigger level to want to jump his bones.

It might be hormonal. What contraceptive do you use? I had to get my implant out for the same reason. It completely killed my sex drive.

How old are your kids?

Out of interest, how were the births? I think if you had a traumatic experience down there it's difficult to think of it as a sexual part of you.

Both premature csections. I hated pregnancy with both kids, lost weight and was uncomfortable 24/7

I’m on the pill but also take antidepressants. My kids are 7 and 2

I am on the pill and also take antidepressants too so could be that

If you really feel happy and supported by your partner then this sounds like a trauma response to something in your past maybe.

Loss of sex drive is side effect of taking AD’s, maybe worth a chat with your GP

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/medicines-and-psychiatry/antidepressants/side-effects/

Antidepressants are notorious for lowering libido and making it more difficult to achieve orgasm. The oral contraceptive can also lower libido.
Sorry, OP, but I think your medication is the likely culprit here. How long have you been on ADs? Is the plan to try weaning off after 6 months/a year, or does your doctor recommend you stay on them long term? Have you had a mental health relapse after stopping them before?
Could you consider barrier contraception rather than hormonal?
Is your DH aware that ADs delay orgasm - does he spend longer on foreplay, has he tried assisting you with a vibrator, etc?

@Babdoc I plan on staying on them for the foreseeable future, still have down days on them but nothing compared. Struggled with mental health since the age of 13 so been in therapy and on ADs for awhile. In my eyes my mental health is more important than my self life at the minute x

@AtomicBlondeRose my partner understands and never puts pressure on, there is something from my past that happened however I went through therapy for that and seem to have put my emotions about it aside and never struggled since therapy untill two year ago