Advice please?

[lattelady2021]

Been with my partner for a few years now, we’re expecting our first baby too!

I am happy and content - I actually know100% I am. Sometimes he gets on my nerves but I’m sure I do with him and with us both WFH we spend nearly 24/7 together!

I have Asperger’s syndrome, so I struggle socially and always have. I have 1 friend really because I struggle to keep relationships. I’m in my 20s and DP is my first partner and I’m happy for him to be my last, I’ve been so sure on him since I met him.

I find myself when seeing other people’s relationships thinking “do we do this?” Or “is this normal?” Etc. It’s not that I’m unhappy or I feel unsure but I tend to analyse relationships a lot, for example I do it with my parents I wonder am I close enough, am I too reliant on them etc

I am just wondering here if anyone has advice to stop this? This isn’t me looking for relationship advice because like I say, no problems. But I constantly find myself worrying what if there’s something not right and he leaves me? He’s not displayed any signs of this either - I’m very loved!

I’m assuming it’s down to my stance on relationships I’ve always struggled with ‘is this normal’ growing up as I’ve never felt normal and still don’t really

Bumping

There is no 'normal' for relationships. There is only what works or doesn't work for each individual couple. My happy relationship with dh would not work for others. My friends see some bits of our relationship as odd or unworkable for them, but it's not odd to us because it works for us. I look at friends' 'normal' and think I couldn't live with that. But it works for them.

I'm awaiting asd/adhd assessment at 53. When I was younger I worried desperately about being seen as 'normal'. But the older I've gotten the more I've realised 'normal' doesn't exist - everyone is abnormal in their own way.

It sounds like you're in a loving, happy relationship which works for you both. Revile in its abnormality because that is what makes it special for both of you.

And congratulations on your new addition to this working, happy relationship ❤