Would this piss you off?

[Jammiedodger9]

I was meant to be seeing someone today that I’ve been dating for a few months. I’d already said during the week that I couldn’t make Friday (last night) as I had to study, but we confirmed for today. We’ve been messaging throughout the day and I sent a message to confirm tonight, to which he replied ‘I’m not gonna lie, as much as I would love to see you, I can’t move my legs from leg day, could we see each other tomorrow’

He’s always made a lot of effort, took me out for my birthday etc last weekend but it’s just pissed me off a bit. Why arrange to do something then work out to the extent that he supposedly can’t muster the energy to drive to see me 🧐

AIBU to be a bit put out by this?

Sounds like he just can't be arsed. If he can't be arsed to see you when you've confirmed plans, not a good sign. I wouldn't be happy

I’d be slightly put out but - it’s a nice message, he’s said he’ll see you tomorrow and it’s a few months in so doesn’t have to be jumping at every chance to see you as he can reasonably assume there’ll be another date!

To me it’s very poor form. Last moment cancellation and a lame excuse. Also presuming you have nothing tomorrow.

But then again I value my time a lot and have no patience for rude people

I would be wondering why he didn’t mention it sooner. Waiting for you to ask is quite annoying let alone the self inflicted reason.

Depends. If you were going in a 10mile hike together I’d let him off. If you’re going to sit in a pub for a meal and a drink, well, he could manage that.

Hmm, it would annoy me but I hate last minute plan cancellations.

I wouldn't be happy. Definitely sounds like he just can't be arsed. I'm sure he's perfectly capable of walking to his car/train etc and from the transport to a restaurant/your house.

He would have known that when he was going to train his legs that he'd be aching after.

It would make me wonder if he's planning on seeing someone else instead. Sorry to say that but that's what I would be thinking.

If someone wants to see you, they'll see you.

Feeble excuses wouldn't stop them.

He was just coming over to mine, so it would only have been a short drive. I guess that’s why I thought it seemed a bit like he just can’t be bothered.

Also he went to the gym this morning so yes, a bit more warning would have been nice tbh

@Jammiedodger9 I would take that as either he’s got a better offer or he just can’t be arsed ☹️

If I was you, I would try and forgive this if otherwise, the relationship is good. Just be very aware of him treating you like this again. If he does do it again, I think it would be quite clear that he's not into you and you need to cut your losses and move on.

I think it's fine. Legs day can often be fine then out of no where it really gets you and walking and sitting become really hard!

I'd have probably text back We'd best postpone then. I'm afraid tomorrow isn't good for me. I'd leave it there, but I'd be taking a step back, I think. I don't want to be with a partner who can't be arsed to stick to arrangements and who apparently thinks it's ok to drop out last minute.

My husband did something like this when we first started dating. He left early from a date rather than staying the night which was unusual, and the next time I saw him he left early again. Both times he said he was tired. I was furious about it and was sure he was losing interest or trying to blow me off. A few days later he was on antibiotics for tonsillitis.

I guess my point is that if he hasn't done this before let him off this once. He might just want to be in great form to see you. If it happens more often or starts to form a pattern then I'd be more concerned. This doesn't sound like he is trying to mess you about just yet.

You still don't have to see him tomorrow, but then if you do you might have a really lovely time together and you'll be glad you let this one slide. You can always bring it up in a light-hearted way to make him see how it threw your weekend off though.

I would wonder if it was the even up after you rearranged last night.

Have you ever said no to him before?

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn we didn’t have any plans for Friday, I had mentioned I was studying and that’s why we had agreed to Saturday. I’ve never said no to him before, other than mentioning in advance days I can’t make due to work etc.

He’s otherwise been okay so far, has always shown a lot of interest. It’s just not something I would do if I really liked someone, but I don’t want to assume that everyone is like that just because I am iykwim

Ab i must have misread that