Feeling bad about blocking him...

[NorthernDramaLlama]

But what else could I have done?
At first he came across as a normal enough man but then he started to cross boundaries, texting me at 5am after I'd said I was a light sleeper and don't get out of bed until 7, determined to make plans for a first date when I'd said my time that weekend was limited and finally repeated texting me asking what he'd done wrong when I texted to say I had a migraine (true, BTW) and was going to bed. I feel terrible, but what do you do when someone won't listen?

I would do what you did. Don’t feel guilty.

I have just had the same with someone I met online. He bombarded me with so many messages and didn’t back off when I cancelled as I found out he was a smoker and knew it wouldn’t work.

You did the right thing. He doesn’t care about you or your wishes.

Shake it off. Move on.

It's hard to tell from what you've written if he actually did anything wrong or if it's the way you've interpreted it. Sometimes men can't win, if they're not texting too much, it's too little and they appear uninterested. Maybe he appeared keen because he liked you and wanted to know if you were on the same page. If you had only just got talking and hadn't yet met, then you don't owe him anything and you shouldn't feel bad about blocking.

Hmm, up to you whether you block him, but him texting you at 5 wouldn't be a problem if you turned your phone onto silent at night like most people do (especially if you're a light sleeper, why on earth wouldn't you?). And then the rest does sound like you brushing him off (too busy to arrange a first date/you have a migraine (it may be true but it sounds like an excuse combined with your general reluctance)).

To be honest, you come off worse than he does imho.

I suppose he may have felt you were brushing him off. Saying you have a migraine is the kind of excuse someone might make to get out of a date. If it was the truth, you could have arranged another time to speak / meet before going to bed.

It's natural not to take everything said at face value when you don't know someone well. He could be feeling very confused about your mixed messages.

First of all, you can’t police when other people send texts so turn off your phone if you don’t want to be disturbed while you’re sleeping. That’s common sense. For the rest, you were right to block him. He sounds needy and controlling and life is too short for that shit.

Thanks for your responses. I guess I should have arranged a proper time to chat but I was dizzy, half blind and in pain and he just kept texting. I don't put my mobile on silent at night time as both my parents have life limiting conditions and they know to contact my mobile as it it's beside me in the bedroom. I'll take what you've all said on board next time I dip my toe in the dating pool :-)

People have low low low standards. He was absolutely flying red flags and you were right.

My friends text early and when I pull them up on it they expected me to have my phone on silent as that’s what they do.

You told him your time was in short supply but complain that he was keen and tried to arrange something.

The poor guy didn’t understand what he’d done wrong and you didn’t tell him.

Not sure I understand why you couldnt explain that lot to him. Or did you and he didn’t listen and continued to bombard you?

Oh come on… it’s not normal to text someone you’re hoping to date at 5am.

You did the right thing.

And she doesn’t have to explain herself. They haven’t even been on a date!

@NorthernDramaLlama

Thanks for your responses. I guess I should have arranged a proper time to chat but I was dizzy, half blind and in pain and he just kept texting. I don't put my mobile on silent at night time as both my parents have life limiting conditions and they know to contact my mobile as it it's beside me in the bedroom. I'll take what you've all said on board next time I dip my toe in the dating pool :-)

Just to help you - you can set your phone to do not disturb - but allow named contacts to still get through in case of emergency That way you don't hear from annoying people at 5 am or Argos or Just eats but if parents called you it will still ring 💐

The poor guy didn’t understand what he’d done wrong and you didn’t tell him.

Yes she did. He's either controlling or thick. I don't date either.

Does the OP say she explained and ANOTHER time he did it again, as it seems to me he replied directly to ask why not ie at the same time. Not another incident.

And wanting to date her is hardly controlling. And I don’t know what red flags people are on about either.

Guess I must be as thick as the poor bloke.

Granted he was probably pished as a fart at 5am however it’s not against the law.