Hi @JC2021, I was a SAHM when I decided to leave my high earning ex husband. These are my experiences of the process:
Marriage guidance was a waste of time. ExH used it to manipulate the counsellor to see me as the problem. Trying to get me back under control.
Mediation was a waste of time. Mediators don't give legal advice so unless you know what your settlement is likely to be , you could agree to a lot less than you are entitled to. My exH saw all assets as his and was unrealistic about what he could get away with.
I initiated financial court proceedings which seemed to focus him on a settlement. With hindsight the legal advice he was given had probably frightened the life out of him and he wanted to avoid court at all costs.
The legal advice I was given by a solicitor was vague at best, unlikely to result in anything that didn't cost a fortune in legal fees. Beware, my new partner spent £100k divorcing his exW. Most of it on solicitors for very expensive, unnecessary administration. She ended up with a lot less than her legal advice.
The settlement we agreed to between ourselves was both fortuitous and unfair to me. I got around 60% of assets (not huge despite his earnings) and joint lives spousal maintenance with child maintenance included. I also got 50% pension share. Fortuitous in that he arrogantly assumed he would be able to stop the maintenance when it suited him. A court order said otherwise. Unfair in that he manipulated the IFAs report regarding pensions, some of which were final salary. I didn't get 50% and unvested shares not disclosed.
Five years later he decided he didn't want to pay maintenance any more so he moved house, ramped up his mortgage to the max, ramped up his credit cards and tried to renege on our DDs school fees for her final year to try to force my hand. Second court case followed. I wasn't allowed to know his case (which turned out to be ridiculous) and it went to three final hearings.
This time, to save money, I used a solicitor for advice only, represented myself until final hearing. Engaged a direct access barrister and ended up with a clean break final settlement. Best thing I ever did. Barrister was able to tell me what the case was worth if it went to judgement and that's what I focussed on. Advice cost £600 in London.
Now totally free of exH. He no longer sees his DD.
The reason I am telling you all this is that divorce becomes about the money. Him trying to avoid paying, you trying to get what you are entitled to. Try to get a clean break if you can. You can guarantee any maintenance will be challenged later.
It is a huge battle but you must, must, must not roll over and give in. A very good friend of mine has now realised how poor her retirement will be because she didn't pursue pensions from her marriage, accepted a few thousand in savings and that was advice of her solicitor!