Hi. Please read this message, bearing in mind that I've never had a proper, loving, non abusive relationship :(
So I'm after opinions from those in fully functioning, healthy relationships as to what normal and 'okay'.
There's a man that around 7 years ago, I was kind of seeing - we tried to make a go of things but he was unfortunately a flake and it fizzled out, we then met up sporadically up until 2 years ago, which was always initiated by me, I suppose he was basically a bit of an emotional crutch as I was going through a bad time.
I cut contact for a while and he met someone, got engaged and is happy.
We spoke for the first time yesterday in over a year, he said that I had just disappeared, I explained that he started to ignore my messages so I stopped contacting him and I decided to ask about his treatment of me in the past, he told me that he had liked me lot back then, but was "in a bad place" and I "always had some other guy in the background". He also said "you last told me you loved x (the abusive, bad relationship guy), so I back off". I told him this just before he met his now fiancee and we haven't spoken since they have been together, until now.
Anyway. I no longer have feelings for him, there aren't even any residual feelings of fancying him, he told me yesterday that he has always had a soft spot for me, whatever that means.
He is completely loved up, has no feelings for me as far as I know.
So, we arranged to meet up next week at his work.
Would this be okay? I don't know how I would feel if my fiance of a month met up with an ex, mot that we are really exes...it was more of a prolonged and deeply weird fling... would you expect him to tell her he's asked me to meet?
Going to his work seems strange, but he works at a place where people pop in on a regular basis and all his workmates have friends that pop in through the day.
From her point of view, though, she wouldn't see it as weird/wrong given our history? If he told her that is. Should he even tell her, as meeting up with female friends is fine presumably in a healthy relationships, does it work the same if said friend is a kind of ex?
Anyway. I don't want to put their relationship in any risk, he reckons he's got his head on straight now but sometimes men are a bit blind, aren't they, and women see things differently. She seems lovely from what he tells me of her, and apparently she's very easy going but I just wanted to see what you all thought?
The intention by the way is to be friends. I said I would rather be proper mates or never speak again, than all this sporadic chatting that we've been doing for the past 6 years and he agreed that he would like to be friends, too.
What do you all think?