Why am I being such a dick?

[TomAllenWife]

I've been in a mood with DP for a week now!
No idea why, I think it started because he booked a holiday for us all whilst he was drunk but I want to go, and I'm happy all the dcs are coming so I don't know why I'm being an arse.

We went out last nite and I accused him of looking at a girl he said he knew.
Again why?????? I trust him 100%, I'm not jealous, I feel secure.

Seriously WTAF is wrong with me. I feel like I'm destroying my relationship for no reason

It’s good that you realise your behaviour is not okay.

But booking a holiday without first consulting you, even if it’s one you would have chosen - that’s quite a thing to do. Maybe it’s a very short holiday or maybe you have lots of leave in your job but I would be dismayed if my DH booked our holiday without consulting me, even if it was a good holiday. Could that be part of it?

Seriously WTAF is wrong with me. I feel like I'm destroying my relationship for no reason

perhaps there IS a reason ... you are just not acknowledging it or recognising it yet 🌸

Hormones ? Resentment ? Has someone else pissed you off ? Do you enjoy the drama ? Do you enjoy the making up after ?

Ate you angry with him about something?
Irritated with him about something too petty to talk about or that's unreasonable?
Are you insecure and testing him?
Are you happy and frightened by that and sabotaging?
Had you been drinking too, and does it make you irritable?
Is he annoying when he drinks?

He is annoying when he drinks, and I've cut down my drinking massively

I am very happy, we just got engaged and bought a house

I don't know what it is, I'm still pissed off. He's away tonight

@TomAllenWife

He is annoying when he drinks, and I've cut down my drinking massively

I am very happy, we just got engaged and bought a house

I don't know what it is, I'm still pissed off. He's away tonight

you're not happy in this relationship ... 🌸

You aren’t happy though are you ?
Seriously, take a step back and think.

I really am, it's a lovely relationship

I've just been pissed off all week and mean to him and I don't know why 🤷🏼‍♀️

Retrace the entire week...

it's in there somewhere.. the trigger 🌸

But you do know why you're pissed off. Booking the holiday while drunk does seem to have been the trigger.

You haven't responded to my point about the holiday - I think that is quite a major thing to do without consulting your partner even if he booked a holiday that you will enjoy - you said he booked the holiday while drunk and now you say he's annoying when he's drunk.

Holidays involve commitments of time and money which you might have been planning to do something else with.

I think sulking and continuing to behave badly all week is off but are you concerned about what else he might do when drunk? Do you resent him disposing of your time and money without consulting you? Or has it triggered feelings from a previous relationship in which you felt powerless or bulldozed?

Just some thoughts. No-one's perfect and, IME, even in a very secure and happy LTR, the participants will sometimes piss each other off. So this doesn't mean that your LTR is fundamentally wrong. But it sounds like you're ignoring something which needs to be addressed.

Is it his drinking that is annoying you?

I don't think so, it hasn't changed, he's always liked a drink
We socialise a lot and he has to for work

He paid for the holiday, for us, and the dcs (mine and his). He knows annual leave isn't really an issue. I've had to take more than I'd like due to bank holiday but he said he'll make up the difference if I want to take unpaid leave.
He did call me when he was booking it but they were drunk.

Poor guy, he has booked and paid for a holiday for all of you and bet he was excited doing so, but you will make him feel shit for it. Do you think maybe you are self sabotaging as you don’t feel like you deserve a happy ending? I know at times due to past issues I do this so no judgement. Put an end to it now, phone him and tell him you are sorry, don’t let it drag out as you are making yourself just as upset as him for no reason x

Is it relevant you have mentioned your own drinking habits a couple of times ?

Not trying to be goady, just asking ?

I bet it's the drinking.
I've recently cut back enormously but DH's intake seems to have increased.
On a deeper level it's really annoying me
I want him to see how much better life is with little to no alcohol but he just doesn't want to.
To be fair neither did I until recently

Unless it's hormonal there is something underlying this.

OP you just need to realise what you have got with this guy and stop pushing him away. You said he was on the phone to you when he booked the holiday so whats your problem? As for accusing him of looking at another girl do you think you get insecure when you drink? Despite you saying that you trust him 100%

I got ratty with DH (and everything in the whole world and everybody in it!) when I had the Mirena coil. I knew I was being an absolute cow but I just couldn’t help it. Getting it removed returned me to my usual happy self.

Hormones?
I can't stand my partner when I'm hormonal

I hate everyone when I'm hormonal. It's not pretty.

It could possibly be hormonal, I'm peri menopausal which doesn't help

We've had a lovely day today at a family event

I think the drinking thing maybe an issue. We've always drunk a lot, and since I've cut back I definitely resent him when he's drunk ang im not, as bonkers as that sounds

I've had a Modena for about 14 years so I don't think that's an issue, I love it

While I appreciate everyone is being supportive to OP by suggesting there must be something he's done to anger her, we wouldn't be saying that to a bloke who was angry with their partner (and had accused that partner of eyeing up someone else when they didn't really think they were / been mean to them for a week etc) surely?

Sometimes people are being dicks to their partner without it being the other person's fault at all, or even about the relationship at all.

Try a soya supplement. I was very up and down before soya.