Is this normal?

[Mangosmoothiesprinkles]

If an older family member (late 60s) wanted to tell you (in great detail) about their day after you had had a long and stressful day yourself, is it reasonable for them to expect you to give them your full and rapt attention while they do so?

“I can see you tapping away, I’m going to wait until you’ve put your phone down.” (This is despite you having been up for 17 hours and a lot going on yourself).

I am happy to listen, but I’m going to be so what I need to on my phone at the same time.

Anyone else have an older family member like this?

I am happy to listen, but I’m going to be so what I need to on my phone at the same time. it is really really rude to be on your phone while "listening" my DH does it all the time and I end up getting him to agree to buy all sorts as he doesn't give his full attention. Just take yourself somewhere else or finish what you're doing on your phone then listen.

It’s rude of you.

My parents are late 60s and 70 and I don’t consider them older people. I don’t live with them so after a 17 hour day I wouldn’t be talking to them about their days if I was too exhausted to listen properly. If I was meeting them face to face and we were chatting I wouldn’t be playing with my phone as that’s rude.

If you haven’t got time to talk or listen, tell them. Preferable to you staring at your phone while they try and speak to you. And huffing that they want your full attention! Playing with your phone while someone talks to you is rude, if you genuinely don’t have time then be straightforward about that. Don’t make out you’re doing them a favour by half-listening!

No matter the age, I do like to give my full attention. I remember one time one of my sister's telling me I was rude pausing the TV when one of my ds was telling me something, but for me I'd rather not have distractions while listening. It also depends what you were doing on the phone, if it was something urgent then fine, I'd explain it needed to be done and then I could give full attention. Personally if someone starts scrolling through their phone while I'm talking, I leave the room.

No. Its not normal to be on your phone when having a conversation in person. Its rude.

Thank you for your replies. It’s interesting to read that many would seem it as rude.

This is them popping over to drop something off and then wanting to offload.

That’s very rude op. Are you saying if you want to tell someone something you’re ok if they sit and use their phone?

If you don’t want to hear it excuse youtself but you’re being incredibly rude.

How old are you op?

I’d expect early teens to maybe behave like this, but I’d expect any adult, who didn’t have additional needs to know it was rude behaviour and not acceptable.

That’s not very nice of you.

You're an adult, I assume. If they've interrupted you at home and you don't have the energy to listen or have a discussion, tell them so and send them on their way. Don't just sit there like a stroppy teen on your phone.

If you’re too tired to talk then a simple “it’s been a long day, I’m shattered, I’ll call you tomorrow to catch up” is far better than showing you’re bored and disengaged by their attempt to connect with you.

Is there something stopping you from doing that?

@AnneLovesGilbert

If you’re too tired to talk then a simple “it’s been a long day, I’m shattered, I’ll call you tomorrow to catch up” is far better than showing you’re bored and disengaged by their attempt to connect with you.

Is there something stopping you from doing that?

This.

My DH is in that age bracket, and my God he can bore for England about his day. 15 minutes every evening of utter drivel. And in the morning we have a blow-by-blow breakdown of everything he's going to be doing that day. It's painful.

So while some say it is rude not to listen, is it not also rude for someone to demand that you give them your undivided attention so that they can bore you to death?

Thank you. I shall call them tomorrow to apologize.

Yes but if you don't want to listen to it just say something polite like sorry I've had a long day cant really focus on much right now. Looking at your phone is so rude.

@Mangosmoothiesprinkles

Thank you. I shall call them tomorrow to apologize.

Good and have a good natter with them :)

Yeah, you're really rude. Learn some manners.

I think if they are constantly dropping round unannounced, just to offload their woes on you, I would probably find myself looking at my phone at times.

The answer is, don’t answer the door or better still tell them you are busy and now isn’t a good time.