I’ll try to keep this short. I’m new here & this is my first post.. I’ve seen some great advice on topics similar to mine on Mumsnet so I’m hoping I’ll get some too.
Been with my partner ten years, we’ve got two lovely kids.. but cut a long story short, my boyfriends family have disliked me from the get go simply because they think I took him away.. my boyfriend who is my children’s dad I should add, has never ever once defended me he’s simply allowed them to slag me off for ten solid years. I’ve had to defend myself, this is gonna sound pathetic and I blame myself but not once in the ten years has he taken me on a date, not even to the pictures, I am not materialistic but a little cheap date would’ve been lovely. Not that I haven’t suggested in the past. Believe me I have. His words are “where’s the rulebook that says men should take their girls out?”.. that’s been his attitude for ten solid years..
I am the only one who drives so I take the kids too and from school, swimming lessons, gymnastics etc etc, he doesn’t work has zero motivation to find a job, in fact he’s barely showering nowadays. Just sits on his PS4 we have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for nine months now.
I’ve rang the council unbeknownst to him to move away with my kids, now this is where it gets messy, he would genuinely kill me before he’d let me leave. I’d have to ring the police and I don’t want that around my kids, they are truly my life and soul, I’ve kept it sweet between us for them but I know in my heart I’ve gotta go, I’ve just got to leave with my kids. I won’t be stopping him seeing them I’m not that type of person. Can someone give me advice on if I’m doing the right thing leaving him without him knowing? And what are my rights?
Like I said I don’t want to take his kids away, I want him to have contact, but he’s vile with me not them, I can only imagine the scenes he’d cause if I rang the police to remove him. I’m only 30 and I just wanna be happy alone. I feel like an old woman. I see my friends in amazing relationships and I think, what did I do wrong? Is it me? He asked me to have an open relationship, but only I do that, not him. Safe to say that was when I knew I needed out. Obviously I said no and absolutely flipped my lid. There’s just no respect from him.
So sorry I said I’d make this short and I never but there’s so much I needed to add. I’d like to thank you for reading and I’m not perfect either but I’m a saint compared to him might I say.. thanks so much. Any advice would help please xxx