Do I change my life?!

[Wilkie1983]

I’ll try and keep this as short and to the point as possible!

2 x DCs now both at uni, single parent (divorced) in a relationship for almost 2 years with someone who lives around 40 miles away. Healthy, happy relationship, committed, he has 2 x primary age DC and a career which keeps him local.
These are my thoughts right now….I’m effectively free of responsibility, I have a job that can transfer round the country although looking for something else more involved which will pay better and really test my mind, no commitments to the area where I live, no discussions about me moving in with my partner (should there be after almost 2 years?) I’m thinking off relocating to a completely new place….really upping sticks and changing everything. I know my DC would support this, I have no idea how my partner would feel or whether the relationship would continue (briefly mentioned moving further down south once and he was supportive?! 🤯) I think what I’m asking is you would make the move?! Would you turn everything on its head for a brand new start?! God knows I deserve a new beginning!

Thankyou so much for all your replies they are all very relevant and valid points!
I do think there is part of me that may be ‘testing’ his commitment by talking of moving away and I’m well aware this is wrong which is why I’m seeking advice on how to handle how I make my decisions.
I think my DC may find it more difficult if I move in with him due to space/staying over etc so I think they would benefit more from their mum moving her life on alone (although they love my partner)
I also agree I need to let the dust settle….this is a brand new situation and I cannot truly gauge my feelings until I’ve lived with them a while!
The situation of almost starting again with his 2 x DC was discussed early in our relationship as he was concerned whether I would be willing to ‘do it all again’ honestly….they’re amazing so it would be a privilege to be part of their lives although I’m under no illusion it would be difficult!
I think the answer is to sit with my situation…see how the job search pans out but also (gently) bring up where we see our relationship in 12 months? Surely after almost 2 years together I’m not jumping the gun with these conversations?! I was in a 16 year relationship beforehand (divorced 6 years) so all this is quite new to me!

Your DC are at Uni, his are primary school aged. That’s a massive difference in where you are in life. You have done your caring and supporting, and whilst you never stop doing that as a parent, you have earned your freedom. He is still tied a lot more in various aspects as he still has a way to go before he is in the same position as you.
You say you have both skirted around the big questions, now is the time to sit down and really talk about where you see the future heading regarding living together and anything else you want clarification on.
If he doesn’t see the same future as you hoped and in an agreeable timescale, it’s better to find out now.
This is a chance for you to step out and take on a whole new life and all the challenges that includes, and you sound like that would be a good option for you.

@Hopingforabagofbuttons

Your DC are at Uni, his are primary school aged. That’s a massive difference in where you are in life. You have done your caring and supporting, and whilst you never stop doing that as a parent, you have earned your freedom. He is still tied a lot more in various aspects as he still has a way to go before he is in the same position as you. You say you have both skirted around the big questions, now is the time to sit down and really talk about where you see the future heading regarding living together and anything else you want clarification on. If he doesn’t see the same future as you hoped and in an agreeable timescale, it’s better to find out now. This is a chance for you to step out and take on a whole new life and all the challenges that includes, and you sound like that would be a good option for you.

Thankyou, you’re right. The conversation needs to happen now otherwise I’m wasting precious time. Big conversation this weekend I think!