Takes the happiness out of everything

[Flashblip]

Just a vent

My H just had to take the shine out of my happiness!!!

I turn 40 next week!!

My friends have planned a surprise weekend away, leaving tomorrow morning I have no idea where or what's happening I just feel so happy that they've thought about me and trying to make this a good birthday,

Work today have done balloons and banners gifts etc and I've come home on a little bit of a high as I've only worked there 4 months so it's nice to be appreciated there.

Come home to him in a stroppy f**king mood , looking at me while am talking as am an inconvenience, apparently he's had a bad day so I get to walk to eggs shells while trying to get ready,

He's not planned anything for my birthday, can't afford it is was I was told, but can afford the 3 night drinking holiday he's just returned from and the 3 nights he's away the weekend after this one,

Yet this birthday he can't afford we've been together 20 years married for 11 and has planned f**k all and he's the one in a stroop taking away my happiness

I can't wait to get away, and leave him to his Mardy behaviour

Am so fed up of being made to feel like it's my fault

Am now sat trying to pack and get ready and he's just spoilt it so much,

I had one like that, every Christmas, birthday (mine and the children's)and special occassion ruined. Now an ex thankfully.

Selfish twats like this only get worse. He's spoiling your day because it's not about him.

Have a brilliant time and don't think about him or what to do about him this weekend

Horrible man.

Did he at least get you a card or cake?

20 years of your one life you have wasted with him
20 years
Tragedy

Op

You have posted many many times about how unhappy you

Why are you staying put? What is it?

And has he changed since you posted this?

* he smothers me most of you on here would love it, the kind gentleman he is, brings flowers home for no reason, cleans, cooks, not so good with the life admin and childcare but does his best, but he wants me to be his world in return, to never be away from me, it’s just so much pressure*

Why do I stay for my DD to keep her family together

In my experience people say this to cover for the fact that they’re too scared to leave. Leaving is difficult; staying and being unhappy is easier.

He's doing this deliberately to take the shine off your weekend. He's doing it because he knows he's going to have to step up and do all the jobs for once. He wants you to turn around and say, "it's ok, darling, I'll stay and do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare. I don't like all this attention. I'll tell you what, why don't we have an early birthday celebration for you instead? That way you can have all the attention instead of me." That is what he is telling you.

@Morningsaregreat

He appears to be unhappy that your'e happy. Is he somewhat narcissistic?

This. My ex is a narcissist and spoilt every birthday I had while we were together.

From what you say about your husband, OP, he sounds very similar - everything your fault, says what he thinks will shut you up - telling you he loves you but carries on doing what he wants and making sure you're miserable.

I'm sorry to be so blunt but your daughter sees this as the way a relationship should be. Do you want her to end up as unhappy as you when she's an adult? That is what will happen if you carry on putting up with this. You can talk it through all you like with your husband but he's not going to change because his behaviour works for him.

More fool you OP.