Need a bit of a hand hold tbh.
I've had enough of my husband's stressiness and sulking. Came on here for advice and it seems as if I am far from the only one with a sulky husband!
The current sulk is because I said we needed to take our son for a PCR test. He was coughing a lot and had a mild fever. Husband very huffily arranged it while I was also trying to book, took him for the test (I would gladly have taken him) and he's been sulking ever since. He is a bit of a stress head. He works hard. I'm a SAHM to preschool and primary age kids. It would cost us money for me to go back to work after childcare costs.
I've tried to tell him we don't need him to work as much as he does - bit of a weird story, but I inherited a chunk of money a while ago and we have a really decent cushion in savings (£100k+ - not a stealth boast! Honestly just for context), if we wanted to explore a different lifestyle where he doesn't have to work so hard.
He does a lot with the kids and I am grateful for that. I've seen on here how many women don't get any help at all. But he does it with such an attitude. He does things I am perfectly capable of doing, but am not doing for a good reason; eg he whisks the kids out for an outing at about 8 o'clock when they should be going to bed.
I have tried to broach this in a sympathetic way, saying don't run yourself into the ground. We are completely fine! He doesn't especially want me to go back to work. He's very shoulder shruggy about it.
Last night I said "oh I need to find that document for tomorrow" and he went off to find it. I said I didn't need him to look for it, I'll find it. So he got all arsey and said no he had to find it or I'd hone him at work or something (I wouldn't - the only times I've spoken to him a work were things like when he took my keys by accident and I couldn't get into the house or else when he used to phone or a natter).
I just feel as if he thinks I'm some sort of idiot who can't do anything for myself and a general source of irritation. He is always irritated either with me, the kids, work, driving, whatever - his mode is constantly pissed off. It isn't necessary. He doesn't need to be doing that job if he doesn't want to. We have breathing room for him to look for something else or for me to look for something else. Funnily enough he isn't keen to stay at home with DCs though.
We live in an area away from my family - very far away, like a plane journey or a very long train journey. This is for his work. We have followed his work around for ages and all his does is moan about it and how much he spends on living here. I feel as if I can't help him de-stress if he won't help himself.
He is a reasonably high earner, but the reason he said we could never leave his work was due to some of the benefits he got with it, like flexible working and good pension, except that when he's at home the whole family is more on edge, and he doesn't seem to want to spend time with us, so that perk doesn't look so perky! Also the pension and some of the flex working conditions have changed lately, so he doesn't get the same perks he said were keeping him there.
I really want to move somewhere cheaper and have a more calm family, but he isn't interested, he just wants to bat us away so he can carry on with whatever agenda he has (usually that is storming around being angry). If we fall out he never ever initiates making up. He will just ignore me.
I've had about enough. I don't know how to get through to him tbh and I wonder if it's time to really call it quits.
It occurred to me recently that I was reading about affairs on here and I thought I wish he'd do that so I could get rid of him
. Which is clearly a dreadful thing to think!!! I may be being a bit erratic here as well, which is the other thing making me post as I may need a bit of talking down.
Thanks if you've read all that!