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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you do??

15 replies

Gingerface40 · 23/09/2021 00:28

Been seeing someone for about a year. I say year for 6 weeks around May he ghosted me, and stupidly I got back with him around my birthday, got a good present so wasn't that bad.
Back together in August was fine, I got a feeling that he wasn't feeling it, not much texting not wanting to see me as much, I had a feeling I was being used, once a week hook up so 2 weeks ago I walked away, told him it was over, was ignored and basically sent him a message saying "I hope no one ever treats your daughter the way you did to me"
Fast forward two weeks, I have him on social media and I had a feeling he has been on dating sites, which is fair enough as we are not together but my god it hurts like hell.
I've went psycho on him asked him why he can ignore me promise me the world then just leave it!
His reply was I was drunk 2 weeks ago and his brothers didn't like the way i went on so I asked to tell me, he said I never said anything. Now I remember this and I think all I had done was ask him if I could have a spare fish tank and if he could look at my car.
Then he said it was him not me.
He knows I get upset when I think people don't like me, so this has made me feel even worse.
To top it up off I screenshotted the convo and he will probably know this.
For my own sanity I have blocked him on everything now, but still have some of his family on my social media. (I got on well with his daughter)
Not sure what advice I want, I just feel basically heartbroken, tired and now anxious. 45 years of age putting up with this shit.
Scared to go on any dating sites now incase I do see him and feel like this again.
Thanks for Listening to be rabble on 😩

OP posts:
needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 00:30

Grammar is awful sorry but I am up a height and wanted to vent!

Sakurami · 23/09/2021 04:27

Hey, he's a dick. Don't worry about what he thinks , you do you. Forget him, go back on online dating sites or do whatever you want. Unfollow his daughter as it will be easier to just cut all contact.

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 06:46

Never had no bloody sleep as I am fizzing. It took me two hours to take everyone off, I have his family on my Instagram so unsure what to do there. Mind they don't post anything much.

What a mess? I have lost all hope in blokes like.

ClosDesMouches · 23/09/2021 08:55

Name change fail?

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 09:46

How does it do that? It keeps changing back to the old one 🤣😂🤣

sloutside · 23/09/2021 11:13

For my own sanity I have blocked him on everything now, but still have some of his family on my social media. (I got on well with his daughter)

Get them all blocked on everything and let that be the end of it.
I don't understand everything that went on from your first post but it all sounds like an absolute nightmare.
It's bringing absolutely nothing positive to your life so stay away from this man and work on your own self-esteem before even looking for someone else.
When you do things by yourself and enjoy your life you'll feel better about yourself and you'll attract less pondlife and also be more grounded in a relationship.

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 11:24

Oh I know sorry for rabbiting on! The whole senario is a mixed up mess! X

Hopegenie · 23/09/2021 11:56

Kind of in the same boat partner of nearly 2 years has a habit of switching off every few months and ignoring me says due to his mental health however just recently did it for a long period of time but still managed to see friends I wondered what this meant and asked the question n got dumped it’s horrible don’t know why people do this to others

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 12:14

Awful isn't it? I walked away 2 weeks ago as he said he wasn't ready for commitment, but now is on dating sites.
I was ghosted for ages. I was round the twist. Had to even go on medication. It's was that bad.
He missed my sons birthday, so promised him he would make it up to him, the fact he didn't do that has upset me also.
Aww it's shit! Absolute shit

workshy44 · 23/09/2021 12:23

I can't believe you are 45 !!! While I was reading it I assumed you were a teenager or at best early twenties
Just block them all and move on. I would suggest therapy to work on your self esteem. To take someone back after they ghosted you for 6 weeks shows it must be on the floor. Sorry but you also sound massively immature
I would not date ANYONE until you do massive amount of work on yourself or else this is likely to be repeated
He sounds like a dick, far better off without him.

sloutside · 23/09/2021 12:26

Awful isn't it? I walked away 2 weeks ago as he said he wasn't ready for commitment, but now is on dating sites

He's not ready for commitment. He's on dating sites looking for his next hook-up.
You obviously want something different and that is not what he is offering.

Date yourself first - take yourself out to do interesting things, on your own. Find out more about what makes you tick. You need your own life first and a future boyfriend needs to fit in with that, rather than the other way round.

Hopegenie · 23/09/2021 13:16

I had months of it and tried to help the issues he had but didn’t want help just reappeared when he felt better and I accepted it for a bit but that time was too long only received odd message about them never then the hour we were due to go away he messaged so I asked why he did it and asked how they felt about us and got hung up on them dumped for going ahead and taking my child on their holiday as couldn’t not take them now I’m all the bad ones who seemingly didn’t deserve them x

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 14:26

@workshy44

I can't believe you are 45 !!! While I was reading it I assumed you were a teenager or at best early twenties Just block them all and move on. I would suggest therapy to work on your self esteem. To take someone back after they ghosted you for 6 weeks shows it must be on the floor. Sorry but you also sound massively immature I would not date ANYONE until you do massive amount of work on yourself or else this is likely to be repeated He sounds like a dick, far better off without him.
Thank you. I know. This was my first relationship in 3 years I was with my ex partner 12 years. So when he came along and offered the world I fell for it hook line and sinker. Maybe I was immature, maybe I was just stupid. Still hurts though! Onwards and upwards
scoobydoo1971 · 23/09/2021 15:00

People will only treat you badly, if you let them! Dating is supposed to be fun and entertaining. If it is not, it is time to move on. Do not date anyone while experiencing low self esteem. Work on that first. Confident people do not tolerate flaky behaviour off other people, and they never take boyfriends back who are not appreciative of them. You cannot often tell what a person is like from the start, but that is why dating is important...it lets you decipher who they really are, and if they are suitable for you.

needynelly56 · 23/09/2021 15:15

I know I alway assume it's me, but I am like that with everyone.

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