I separated from my husband last year and a few months later was asked out by someone I knew (but not well) through a hobby of ours. New man and I have now been together approximately a year, we don't live together and we most likely never will.
Neither of us are spring chickens, I'm late 40's, he's 10 years older. He's also been married before, but no dc. When I first split with my ex-husband, my split was very amicable, but has since become acrimonious. His split with his ex-wife has been very amicable. They still communicate most days via text or phone call. He insists there's no going back for them, but is fiercely private about his communication with her.
He always texts good morning to me and we text throughout the day. If we're not seeing each other that day, we talk on the phone in the evening, just general chit chat about how our days have gone.
However, I recently discovered he'd had his ex-wife over to his house a month or so ago and had not mentioned it to me. I also discovered they text most days including good morning and good night texts (sometimes even when we've spent the night together). He has said he hasn't told me about meeting with her because his interaction with her is private between them. However, I can't help but feel that this level of contact and lack of communication with me just doesn't sit right. I don't want to know the details of what they discuss etc, but I do feel it's not right that he's not even mentioned, "oh mrs ex-dp came over yesterday". I'd even asked who some drinks were for that were in the fridge (typical female drinks) and he'd said it was in case his sister dropped by. I later found out they were for her. It also makes me question what else he's not telling me.
He's been quite open about the fact that he still loves her, but claims that doesn't mean he can't love and make a commitment to me. He says I don't trust him and he's right, that trust has been eroded since I found out he'd had her over to the house without telling me. He gets very angry if I bring the topic up, but I feel we do need to discuss it. He's said there's nothing to discuss.
Am I being an unreasonable bunny-boiler, or is this level of protectiveness over a previous relationship not ok? To my mind he's been lying by omission, he says that's just not the case. Fwiw they were married for decades. I'm just trying to get my head around the whole thing.