Is this even possible?

[Hellllllppppp]

So, I separated from my husband about a year ago. I've enjoyed my time being single but now want to get out there again.
The problem is, the XH.

I don't have many friends so online dating seems the way to go but I can't risk my ex finding out I'm on there. He's moved on but I actually think it would be dangerous for me if he saw me on any dating sites.

To be honest, I'd be happy with some flirty chat to start with, is there anywhere I can do this anonymously? I'm actually craving some human attention right now

Is he blocked? on tinder you can sync your blocked contacts from seeing you on there. Incognito, you may have to pay extra to get this but it's a way of swiping but no one can see you unless you've swiped them first, most dating apps have that.

Maybe you could join a meetup.com group. Not necessarily dating (though I think there are some speed dating groups) but just a social meetup in your area.

Maybe don't upload face pictures, just have a shadow in the sunlight pictures or something like that? And use a version of your name you don't usually use, like if you're called Isabelle and people call you Izzy usually, use Belle?

And perhaps Bumble where you would have to contact the other person first rather than them contacting you?

The thing with no pictures/body photos only though is it'll make men think you're looking for hook ups. It'll attract twice the number of creepy guys.

But bumble is a good shout.

And maybe you could make your first pic something else other than a close up of you.
So for example, I've been using an app called voila lately that can turn a pic of you into a cartoon.

Yeah, I didn't mean body photos, but good point.

Agree that on some sites you can block

He's not blocked, we have children so I need to be able to contact him.

I don't mind paying to use a site, it's just the being found on there that is stressing me out. So on bumble, is that an option that you choose, to not be found on searches?

To be honest, he might not give 2 shits what I do now but whenever I think of joining somewhere, my anxiety goes through the roof. I want this to be an enjoyable experience, not something that gives me sleepless nights.

Think of it in this way - you are no longer together so if you are able to co parent respectfully then what you do in your private lives is none of the other business

If he sees you in a site - that means he's on it too
So what's the difference ?

Relax re the ex and prepare yourself for the even more frustrating world of OLD 😆

So I've just looked at bumble, thank you so much to those that suggested it. I'll be making myself a profile this evening

@notlongtillxmas He made it very clear at the start that because it was my decision to leave, I had no right to meet anyone else and be happy. I think his words were, if I see you with another man, I'll be going to prison. That might have changed now but I can still see the anger in him towards me so I'm not 100 percent sure.