How to tell your 4 year old daddy is moving out?

[Mummyofboys0104]

Hi all,

Just wondered how you told your children that their daddy is moving out & they will be staying with him on weekends?

My sons are 4 years and 1 years nearly 2 and are used to seeing daddy every single day and night. My 4 year old always asks when he is coming home from work and if he is not home by a certain time he asks me where daddy is?

The hardest part of this breakup is knowing my children are going to miss being with their dad every day. They will be spending every other weekend with him once he leaves.

How do you tell and prepare your child.

He is moving out middle of October.

Any suggestions welcomed. X

Sit them down together, he tells them that he loves them a lot but sometimes mummy's and daddy's decide not to live in the same house, and that they will see him lots and will have a room at daddy's new house too. They can call him before bed every evening if they want and sometimes daddy will have tea twitch them ... reiterating the how much he loves them bit.

Best wishes

Very confused as to what the reason of the split has to do with@MyDcAreMarvel

But then again often when I see their posts they appear to be utterly ghastly

I agree with sitting them both down together, maybe a little while before it happens, don’t leave it too long.

Also ignore the rude questions; “why isn’t he seeing them more/why is he leaving”- people need to mind their own business! Relationships end.

Just do the best you can. Remind your kids that they’re loved by both of their parents and that families come in all shapes and sizes.

If they have a grandparent or other relative that they’re close to, maybe use that as an example- ie- Nanny doesn’t live with us but that doesn’t mean we love her any different.

@gindreams

Very confused as to what the reason of the split has to do with@MyDcAreMarvel

But then again often when I see their posts they appear to be utterly ghastly

In fairness, while specifics are unnecessary an idea of how amicable it is can help formulate advice. The poster's advice at the top of this page wouldn't be a practical method if mummy and daddy want to live in different houses because they feel like clawing each other's eyes out the second they're in the same room.

Thank you everyone the advice is helping me and I already feel better about telling him and I know he will be fine as Daddy will be in their lives always just not living in the same house and obviously the family outings, holidays etc together stop but as they are both very young will get used to it. Me and ex partner are getting on well for the sake of the kids and we are being very amicable and being adults about it for the sake of the boys. I know there are a lot of families in this situation it is just hard when the kids will feel the change. But all the advice is great x

My DC were a bit older but we sat them down together and told them. It was all very sudden for them unfortunately as I had discovered my husband's affair and needed him out straight away (no spare bedroom) so there was no 'getting used to the idea' for them. In some ways I don't know if that would have made it worse though.

There were lots of tears from all of us but also lots of reassurance that we loved them and me and Daddy would still be friends (we were far from it at that point but the kids didn't have to know that). I spoke to each of their schools so that they were aware and could offer support and although my heart was breaking I was there for them and answered any questions I could.

I won't lie, it was the most awful experience of my life but like I said, they were older and understood better than your will at their ages. If they see you are ok, they will be ok x