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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is there much point of him

10 replies

Emilyex · 21/09/2021 22:27

Just need to rant as no one in RL i could ask for help or tell them how poorly husband is being.

We been having few problems, mainly he doesn't offer help, communication.

Me n the girls have fallen ill well they did before me but today I've been poorly since the evening. Have been trying to settle them since 6pm and no luck till now i called him and asked him to please come home as id like help with one at least cause my cold is getting bad.

His reply well your always ill anyways, ive had a long day as it is.

Im sorry but this really pissed me off i have a health condition yes but i do everything anyways i maybe just mention to him on the days im not to good but that's general chit chat of me sharing it with him..

Hes never ever helped me when im ill either. Its like i need to a superwomen all the fucking time. It depresses me to think he can't even be there for me on days like this. Cant even see if i would like help, med, tea small things.

I feel like my health ie. My mind is so tired to this.. I am doing everything for him and he expects me to get on with everything.

Am i being to sensitive or hes not putting any effort

X

OP posts:
Mamainthemaking · 21/09/2021 22:47

That’s awful. My husband would never say anything like this and goes out of his way to help me; I’ll or not.

I’m sorry he’s like this. Perhaps a councillor could help him realise how unfair he’s being.

Emilyex · 21/09/2021 23:10

He wouldn't even go.. He thinks his actions are not wrong anyways sadly @Mamainthemaking

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Mamainthemaking · 21/09/2021 23:15

That is sad @Emilyex I am sorry to hear that. You deserve better. Are you close with his Mum? Perhaps she could have a word with him?

Emilyex · 21/09/2021 23:24

She dont care much. Backs him.
I told him i will leave as im having enough. He said i dont care this time around. So leave.

I cant deal @Mamainthemaking

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Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 21/09/2021 23:33

Terrible for your mental health to be treated like that in your primary relationship. The only thing you can do is leave. You do everything anyway, it will just be one less person to have to do stuff for. And much more peaceful than being constantly disappointed by someone.

Emilyex · 21/09/2021 23:44

Yes i know. Im just so scared to be on own, will i cope ok. Such awful position @Ohsugarhoneyicetea

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BabyStone · 21/09/2021 23:50

This honestly sounds like my ex/DS' dad!
I'd leave, as others have said, you do everything anyway etc
He clearly has no respect for you and your own physical and mental health

A partner is supposed to support you in anyway they can, especially when it concerns their children, and your own health etc

Probablyinpain · 21/09/2021 23:56

Last weekend my now ex moved out. I ended it for similar reasons. I'm now on my own with 2 kids. He didn't even bother attempting for fight and hasn't spoken to me since bar things to do with the DC. I've realised he was acting like he didn't care because he didn't. He might have said he did, but his actions have done the talking.

I seriously don't feel like my life is much different now. I'm getting into a little routine with everything. I have less washing and cleaning to do too so that a bonus.

The 2 questions I asked myself were:

  1. If this was going to be my life forever, would I want it?
  2. If there were no kids involved and our relationship was the way it is now then would we still be together?
Emilyex · 22/09/2021 00:06

Yep only he thinks its my fault. Told me you can't even take care of yourselfs whilst here and you want to be a single mum. Im shocked and really angry at myself for allowing all this @BabyStone

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Emilyex · 22/09/2021 00:08

Im sorry, but im glad you feel happier now. Those questions are really eye opening.. Answers are big noooo @Probablyinpain

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