Really over this time

[Longbrickroad]

No-one I can talk to in real life and need to get it out.
Huge row this morning culminating in my 'D'H saying when you are a single mother know that I tried. He says he will not come back and I shouted don't come back at him as he left for work.

I think this is for real this time. It has been going downhill for the last 3 years. We don't have a relationship to speak of just two kids together.
What do you do when this happens?
I am not particularly sad. I don't particularly want to be in a failed marriage but also it is clear it is over. It shouldn't feel so hard if the relationship is loving - don't know what that means anymore. We are different in so many ways but I thought that didn't matter. It clearly does.
My heart breaks for the children.

You don't sound too bothered.. so .. gather up everything you need to ensure you have all the information for a Divorce settlement ..

Your kids will be fine 🌸

@QueenBee52 thanks for your message. I think I am resigned to the fact we can't go back now. I feel so empty.

I am the one with all the assets, he has very little.

[quote Longbrickroad]@QueenBee52 thanks for your message. I think I am resigned to the fact we can't go back now. I feel so empty.

I am the one with all the assets, he has very little.[/quote]
Yes sorry I apologise.. reading that back it sounds like a negative comment... i didn't mean to sound rude... 😳 I just meant as you say.. you feel okay and this might be it this time...

I might be better... after living like this for 3 years now.. you deserve better than that...

Kids adjust with good support around them.. 🌸

Yes I do feel like I deserve better. Tonight has been much calmer without him. I have fallen out of love with him, that is maybe why I sound unbothered.

My eldest is 7 and is starting to ask questions. I am trying to be honest but age appropriate. Her little face was so sad though.

Expect a tough 6 months. Don’t flip flop back and forth, make a descision (stay or split) and go with it. Try to be calm and fair (assuming he can do same) and aim to get to a fair division of assets and a co-parenting relationship ASAP. Kids will be fine but the less time spent in limbo the better, try to get to your new normal.

[quote Longbrickroad]@QueenBee52 thanks for your message. I think I am resigned to the fact we can't go back now. I feel so empty.

I am the one with all the assets, he has very little.[/quote]
You need very good legal advice then, because when you married him, you agreed legally to share all your assets.

If it's been a short marriage (less than 5yrs) and/or you can show that he hasn't materially contributed then you might be okay.

Not a short marriage. The financial settlement is what worries me - he had debts when we got together which are now cleared and doesn't have any savings. Plus I have build up a half decent pension