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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

TW dealing with fallout of abuse with children

7 replies

Muttly · 21/09/2021 12:07

I have spoken in detail about my family situation and I have gotten some fantastic advice on here but I wanted to talk about how to manage the fallout for my children.

Some basic background: Until 4 years ago my family of origin were bopping along in a very on the surface getting along, but bubbling under the surface there were serious issues. It came out then that my sister had been seriously sexually abused and raped by my eldest brother for decades. I had also been abused by him but less seriously in terms of scale and duration. I have only one sister but I have 3 brothers including the abuser. The abuse was at the extremely serious end of the spectrum and it was what could be considered ongoing in that there had been abuse within a five year period of when this had blown up and possibly more recent than that. So I thought at the time upon hearing this that my family would react to this situation in some meaningful way but I was to be extremely disappointed.

My father decided a couple of weeks after hearing about the extent of the abuse that he was continuing his relationship with my brother and never mentioning it again and I was to like that or lump it.

My brothers and sister cut off my abusive brother - in my sister’s case, she has done an awful lot of things to drag my abusive physically brother back into her life (he lived abroad but she set up a situation where he moved to her locale) but she doesn’t speak to him any longer and she hates him but she has serious psychological damage and her actions are not in any way self protective.

I have run around like a headless chicken waiting for people to actually react proportionately to the scale of the abuse in the family but they simply don’t. My parents cut me out of my family with their behaviour, my siblings accepted that, my other relatives accepted that and they have moved on pretending everything is fine and dandy and life has moved on.

My children though are devastated at their loss of family particularly for them as we always holidayed with my (other) brother and my nieces and nephews and even after this whole thing broke down fully while I tried to give my brother the chance to come to terms with the reality in his family we continued to holiday with them.

The problem is that I have PTSD as a result of what has happened in the family and the symptoms are really brought on by engaging in any way with my family of origin. My children want a relationship with their cousins but I want absolutely nothing to do with my brother any longer because I am sick and tired of his excuses for my father’s/parent’s betrayal of his/their daughters.

Participating with my family in any way for me just feels like I am participating in my family of origin’s scapegoating abuse of me and my family and I end up dealing with the PTSD symptoms for days and days after. It is honestly like sending a soldier back into battle trying to deal with my family in any way.

I don’t want my husband or I involved anymore in any meet ups with my nieces and nephews except to facilitate the meeting. My eldest daughter is 16. We would facilitate any meet up they want but my brother is very unlikely to let his children participate.

I honestly would love to have the whole lot of them out of my life at this stage because to me they are just cowards who lack integrity but I feel completely trapped by my children really wanting a relationship with their cousins.

I would love some advice.

OP posts:
Muttly · 21/09/2021 13:23

Hopeful bump for any thoughts

OP posts:
definatiz · 22/09/2021 21:19

Sorry I can't help more but hopefully if I bump someone with more wisdom may come on the thread. I think you are very brave and can understand why a fresh start without them is a tempting thought.

Wnikat · 22/09/2021 21:25

Sorry but I think you have to over rule your children here. Cutting all contact is the best thing for all of you. They will get over not seeing their cousins.

Sakurami · 22/09/2021 21:31

Hi op. I have no experience and I'm so sorry for what you went through. Your kids will be fine without their cousins, and I think you're best away from it all. Have you reported the abuse? Does your abusive brother have kids or access to them?

Muttly · 22/09/2021 22:55

Thanks so much for the comments everyone I completely get it is a tricky one to even offer advice on so I really appreciate it.

Sakurami we have reported it but he doesn’t live in the country where most of the abuse happened and where it was reported.

OP posts:
DFOD · 23/09/2021 09:15

I am going through something similar - nowhere near has horrific as you have endured but there are parallels with a black and white criminal injustice and abuse towards me followed by the wider family colluding with the cover up by the perpetrator. Again previously a very close family where the cousins had great friendships and I took myself out of the family’s punching distance after being scapegoated…..so I feel guilty and responsible for the cousins relationship. I have arranged meet-ups and it has cost me dear for my MH. I regret this as now even though they as late teens can make their own arrangements to see each other any info no matter how innocuous just triggers another spiral / loop of my hurt, anger, frustration, heartbreak, desperation and I lose days of sleep and headspace to painful unresolved issues.

I have been too raw and vulnerable and tried too hard for too long - I should have put my own recovery first - the cousins relationships could have picked up again when they were older etc or carried on online.

I also had to brief my DCs on no go areas of conversations with the cousins and how to handle their aunts and uncles. In retrospect (even though nothing dreadful that they have told me about at least has happened) - it hasn’t been a net benefit for my DCs. The gulf in the family is still deep and they are in no mans land - which is confusing and unhealthy. I am NC - straight forward - they are LC which requires constant vigilance and assessment and navigation. All v exhausting and v triggering.

If I had my time again I would not proactively encourage this emotionally fraught and complex situation. It has cost me a lot of pain - and I am not clear that the DCs have benefited.

I wish you peace and comfort at this dreadful time. The biggest pain for me is not the perpetrator or even their actions now for me - it’s the bystanders and defenders who scapegoated me and my family by silence, collusion, manipulative narratives to protect the external face of the family above truth and decency.

Muttly · 23/09/2021 09:46

DFOD I love your username.

The biggest pain for me is not the perpetrator or even their actions now for me - it’s the bystanders and defenders who scapegoated me and my family by silence, collusion, manipulative narratives to protect the external face of the family above truth and decency.

^100% this for me too. Thank you so much for your insight.

Even my sister who was at the heart of all of this abuse has gone along with this shit which has been so hard to bear and has meant my family hide behind her willingness to play pretend. She though is completely fucked up after decades of abuse my cowardly, integrity lacking brothers have no such excuse.

I regret this as now even though they as late teens can make their own arrangements to see each other any info no matter how innocuous just triggers another spiral / loop of my hurt, anger, frustration, heartbreak, desperation and I lose days of sleep and headspace to painful unresolved issues

This is exactly my experience too. My brother contacted us to make the recent meeting for the kids and couple what you mention above with a naive hope that maybe he will stop participating in this abuse of me and my family. My husband had to go along and listen to my brother wax lyrical about his wife and what is going on in their life and not mention me while he and my brother pretended there was nothing going on while the kids played together and did an activity. It was just nauseating for DH and horrible for me feeling like he was actively participating in our families abuse.

I was describing the emotional loop in detail to my therapist as “deathly feelings” of isolation/abandonment/grief which he explained was like when a mouse plays dead after being caught by a cat, it is a play dead last defence in the fight/flight system followed by my body freaking out by the near death experience triggering energetic rage and round and round for about 4 days uncontrollably. He explained that is classic PTSD symptoms. It is completely uncontrollable and is just so awful and so exhausting.

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