Is it unreasonable to ask hubby for a date night before we have another baby?

[Lealea1991]

Basically we never go out on a date night anymore and haven't for months. The childcare isn't a problem to arrange, he just never seems interested in going out. Ive gave up the things I like doing on a date night because he doesn't like doing them so I said I'm happy to do what he wants, even if it's just going to the chippy or watching a film at home. I don't feel I'm being unreasonable to ask for a date night before I go through pregnancy and labour again. He keeps going on and on at me to have another, which I want another too, but I feel I deserve at least one evening to go out and do something fun. I'm desperate to do something romantic as we never go out anymore and he works alot. I'm so used to being without him at home alot now I've kind of forgotten alot of the feelings I had for him. I know it sounds awful but I am a stay at home parent and I'm better at bring without him now than with him. I dont know if anyone could understand what I'm saying? I don't know how else to explain it. There's nothing wrong with our marriage, I'm just used to being without him alot.

know it sounds awful but I am a stay at home parent and I'm better at bring without him now than with him. I dont know if anyone could understand what I'm saying

There's nothing bad or incomprehensible in the way you're feeling or what you've said.

Do you feel fulfilled, happy, respected and supported in this marriage?

If not, why would you consider having another child? You need out, surely?

He’ll agree to a date night so you’ll let him shag you. It won’t mean what you think it means.

Seriously- find your self respect.

I was going to warn you that I managed to accidentally get pregnant with DC2 on the very first night that DH and I had away from DD, so one might lead to the other...

But after reading your OP I'm not going to leave a jokey message. As everyone else said, you sound really fed up. What do you get out of this marriage?

Theres a lot wrong with your marriage if you prefer being not with him than with him surely?

Don't get me wrong, I love it when DH goes away for a night or 2, and atm we are skint paying for childcare so no date nights - but at least twice a week we snuggle down together to watch tv, we like each other a lot, we will have a nice meal and a movie together on a Friday once the kids (5.5 and 15 months) are in bed - we like each others company!

Do you think he could be genuinely romantic? Or treat it likes a means to an end? That would be my concern, that he was going through the motions.

You can't make someone be romantic or outgoing. It has to come from a genuine place. And if you are having to push this hard, it is clear that he will only be doing it with having another baby in mind.

Is he the only one working in this relationship? I think he needs to do more but maybe hes exhausted from working so hard to provide? This isnt the 50s its not that easy to feed 3, aoon to be 4 people on one salary. He might be preoccupied with other thoughts

Soon to be**

YABU
To ask for just the one night lol why not have a couple of nights, or a mini break. Your post seems a little sad though.

Start having date nights with someone else

But you don't sound like you want another child OP.

Can't blame you for that - he'd have you trapped even further into boring nights in & no dates, wouldn't he?

You know you don't have to give a man a child just because he "goes on about it", don't you?

When did he last give you anything that you actually want?

I think you sound bored & stultified by a SAHM daytime (which is fine as a choice!) but no lovely relief of proper evening engagement from your DH. Are you ready to go back to work yet, even part-time? It would at least give you some of the stimulation you are clearly craving, & not getting at home. Also some independence, so at least you could fund your own interesting activities & time out with friends, as he won't do that with you.

@Sampafie

Is he the only one working in this relationship? I think he needs to do more but maybe hes exhausted from working so hard to provide? This isnt the 50s its not that easy to feed 3, aoon to be 4 people on one salary. He might be preoccupied with other thoughts

Oh for goodness sake.

Several million people in the UK "work hard to provide".
Somehow, they still manage to find the energy go out with their partners or spouses.