I don't know who to turn to

[feelinglostt]

I need help.
I don't know where to turn to.
My oldest children are not speaking to me.
My partner has just left me over me making a video months ago that I was being silly in and didn't post anywhere.
I'm meant to moving house soon and the house I've been offered is in an awful state.
I'm absolutely in pieces at the moment.
I can't go to work.
I'm overwhelmed and lost.

Sorry seems so silly.

Also, reading your last update, I don't know if there's any back story to their behaviour, but your daughters sound awful. Being rude to your partner because she doesn't get on with you?! Sounds like she has some serious growing up to do. I know they're your children and it's hard but you need to step away from them for a little while and give yourself some space.

Your children actually want you to live and die alone. Think about that. Don't go begging them. They are being ridiculous and when they grow the fuck up hopefully they will be ashamed of themselves.

My daughter has just messaged the whole family saying I'm toxic and abusive.

I really can't take much more of this.

My cousin is coming over tonight. I'm going to ask her to care for my q13 year old.

I've spoken to the Samaritans, thanks you @HopeMumsnet.

I'm glad you have some support in your cousin. If your family believe your daughter over you then they're obviously as nasty and toxic as she is. Surround yourself with supportive people.

OP going through your videos and emails and calling you a slut is a clear sign you've gotten invited with yet another abusive man.
I don't know enough about the situation with your DDs to comment. On the face of it your eldest DD is being unreasonable but it sounds like they've been seriously impacted by the abusive relationships you've had before.