It's my daughters birthday this week. She will be 3. We have a really lovely week planned and I can't wait.. I'm a lone parent to her and we have the most unbreakable bond. When I was with her father, I raised her from the moment she was born. I did everything.
We fled domestic abuse and it got quite heavy, he's a danger to her as he abused her also :( the only contact he has is supervised twice a month.
He didn't see her last year for her birthday and he won't this year either.
So, why do I feel guilty?
He stopped being a father in my eyes the minute he laid a finger on her and told her directly when she was just shy of 18 months old that she was a complete mistake and he hated her.
My beautiful, amazing, kind, wonderful, brave little girl, who saved my life and makes me proud to be a lone parent, however tough it is.
Why do I feel a pang of guilt that he's deprived himself of watching her thrive and grow up?
Part of me almost offered contact in her birthday week in an attempt to be a decent person, but my solicitor actually advised me not to and not be accommodating, all I have to do is stick to the current court order and do the bare minimum.
If I had my own way, he would be dead.. And I'd be dancing on his grave, but why do I feel guilty for her, when I have no reason to be? He made his choices to be highly abusive and destroyed our family.. I did everything I could to hold it together until we were both in imminent danger. I left with my baby and the clothes on my back.
I can't shake off why I feel guilty. Can anyone explain it to me?