Dating

[maryandhersheep]

Am I weird, but I just can't be bothered! I should I be, I want to be, but I find the whole thing so awkward and false! The small talk, the feeling like you're being judged, the pressure. Just me?

Just me then 😩

I have no interest in romantic dating.

I wish there were more interest in meeting people with a range of similar interests with little expectation of texting etc. I know this is unrealistic because at my age people are entering the final third of life and they're looking for their last big fling or someone to care for them etc.

I don't want to answer questions about my life to date, discover people's quirks, establish there's a mismatch in expectations etc. I'm interested in people but don't expect to have a particular interest in a special someone, IYSWIM.

I don't really worry about being judged no. But I agree that they feel...very surface level y'know.

I think I'm realising lately that dating just doesn't allow for relationships to develop very organically. I mean, you get a few dates in and if it's going well there's this expectation that you'll start sleeping together and go from there. And tbh, I've never developed feelings for ppl in those cases because it just feels sorta mechanical or very surface level attraction. Like I'm forcing it in a way.

I've only ever developed crushes on people I work with or attend classes with or something. Because you get to see them and who they are over time and how they act in normal environments.

But I don't work in a regular environment so I have no idea how I'll ever meet someone I I don't force myself to date. These days though I pretty much just treat dates as an opportunity for fresh air and conversation. No real hopes to find Mr right.

Both interesting points.

I absolutely agree with the feelings developing from somebody you know, but it's so rare for anything to come from anything like that.

I'm in my late 20s but I just can't face the effort, I want to meet somebody but not a stranger via an app if that makes sense?

dating just doesn't allow for relationships to develop very organically. I mean, you get a few dates in and if it's going well there's this expectation that you'll start sleeping together and go from there

It feels so transactional and scheduled. I could not have sex because it's conventionally agreed at Date [X]. Frankly, I couldn't begin to feign interest in negotiating that I've no wish to have my boundaries transgressed or disrespected.

I like conversation. I like food. A no strings dinner/exhibition/shared interest relationship would suit me fine. (Why, yes, I'm so much more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. I can't bear the prospect of encountering a man-child or bitter grump.)

I take breaks from it, can't stay on it longer than a month without getting bored with it, at the moment I have other priorities and won't look again until next year, although if I meet someone in rl then that solves the problem, unlikely though as I'm 40.
You're in your 20s, can you go out with friends, meet men through friends?
Work?

@seensome

I take breaks from it, can't stay on it longer than a month without getting bored with it, at the moment I have other priorities and won't look again until next year, although if I meet someone in rl then that solves the problem, unlikely though as I'm 40. You're in your 20s, can you go out with friends, meet men through friends? Work?

I just want to meet somebody organically, I think the apps make it even more forced and false?

All my friends have children so not much chance to go out and I WFH.

I rarely make it past 3 messages these days and the rare ones that do I still lose interest pretty quickly. Don't remember the last time I actually met anyone face to face and I feel like I'm getting more and more comfortable and used to being single and then it seems like even more effort. No idea why I even stay on the sites that I now look at about once a fortnight. Maybe waiting for that one amazing person (let's face it though they probably won't be on POF 😆)

I'm a man and I've been internet dating since March, when my relationship of 35 years finished. I've met 10 people and all of them have been pleasant - but only two have stimulated my interest romantically. The process is difficult and it seems like a series of blind dates - you see a photo and a profile and have to read between the lines.
Firstly, you have to make the first date interesting and secondly, you have to be quite objective - if you're not really interested, be honest with yourself as well as them. Sex doesn't come into the equation for some time because a few dates usually take place before one really knows whether there is a connection.