Feel so stupid, confused and sad

[user1471553350]

I am 52. Decided to try online dating after breakup of 4 year relationship.
Met a man, in June , he's 58, all seemed great , got on well, sex, confided vulnerabilities (2 way thing)
He messaged me a lot ,a lot , always good morning, started seeing each other every other weekend and during the week, I helped him move to a new property (he specifically wanted me too)
Then suddenly a week ago he felt evasive, which has turned into full on ghosting, but has not blocked me and is reading my messages. He has been horribly stressed by work (teacher) and the move which was nightmarish up til completion. It's just a total sudden change . With no rhyme or reason. Any thoughts please?

He could be married, and getting a divorce but reconciled with a partner.
Same with above, got back with an ex etc.
He could have met someone else and been seeing most of you and chosen another.

Either way, not your monkey, not your circus. Count yourself lucky to have only wasted 3 and a half months on him. This is NOT how adults behave. Don't make excuses for his behaviour. Stressed -talk about it.

Take the bull by the horn and block him. Don’t let him have access to you when he can’t be man enough to be honest with you or considerate of your feelings.
What ever is going on with him it’s not fair you are left dangling, with no explanation. He would have been kinder blocking you, at least then it’s loud and clear he wants to move on. You are worth way more than him picking you up and dropping you when ever suits.
He’s emotionally unavailable and you are better finding out now rather than down the line. It’s shady behaviour and it doesn’t matter what stresses he has on in his life, he is showing he’s selfish and a coward.
Move on sharpish.

So he's not replied in 7 days?

It seems to have coincided with going back to school in the September term so my money's on him reconnecting with someone else, or he was never really single in the first place. Did his facebook status say single?

Do not feel stupid sad or confused
This seems to be a normal part and parcel of OLD
Men can think you are the bees knees one day then totally ghost you the next
There could be many many reasons for this
Clock it up to experience, fine tune your love bombing asshole radar and enjoy some new coffee chat dates
Yesterday's news

You sound brill OP.

I don't think this guy is the one for you.

@IceLace100

You sound brill OP.

I don't think this guy is the one for you.

She is brill. She gave some fabulous advice on someone else's thread yesterday and is too good to be mucked about.

Do not contact him.

As PPs say, arrange some new zero dates.

I hope that he didn't use you to facilitate this transitional period in his life. However, even if it's true that he did, you didn't sense it and enjoyed your time with him. As long as you're not financially or otherwise enmeshed with him, you're free to move on.

Some people do this, just like some people shop at Sainsbury's, and some people ski. You can't always tell to start with.

Don't beat yourself up. You've only known him a couple of months; you can't expect yourself to have got to know him that well.

Make sure that if he comes back, you don't engage. After all, he might do this again at any time, and for any length of time.

Silence is dignity.

It's shit basically, whatever the reason! No idea what the issue is, you'll only know by speaking to him, don't assume anything.

The older I get the less tolerance I have for shite like this.

I feel for you OP I really do, but don't do anything rash, there may be a valid reason fir his behaviour.

Back off and don't call him. There's a slight chance that he is depressed - could be triggered by the enormous stress of a house move just before term starts and he might fee overwhelmed at having to handle a deepening relationship at the same time. But even if this is the case, he should try and contact you and explain. You deserve to be well treated especially by someone you have grown this close to.

Make yourself unavailable and focus on other aspects of your life, hard as that is.

So you haven't heard from him in a week? What a dick. Sorry. You deserve better than this, stress doesn't stop someone sending a twenty second message, eg 'sorry I'm quiet I'm feeling ill/stressed/dog died' etc.

I'd send one last message and let him know you won't be contacting again. I cant actually think of a valid excuse for him qhosting, especially as he has read your messages.

Next!!!
Get back OLD!

Aw. Thanks so much. You lot rock. I just feel a right Muppet! But all your thoughts/advice are spot on. Xx

Let him come to you. Frustrating and disappointing but best to find out he is a dick now. Btw I met my husband OLD so don’t let it put you off.,there are some lovely men online xx

As others have said whatever the reason its rude and not grown adult behaviour, dont leave the door half open for him to return because from my experiences OLD they often do. Block him on every avenue and move on. You deserve so much better