We have tried as a couple to make the relationship with family members be manageable but the toxicity is becoming too much.
We have tried all forms of contact and are trying to trial low contact.
We are beginning to notice that complex manipulative games co-exist such as withholding presents for occasions so that there is an excuse to recontact and plan another meeting soon after. (We are not bothered about receiving if it comes across as that)
We’ve had their family members as flying monkeys when we tried to limit contact to a minimum and it went into stalking territory.
They are fully capable of making lies up and framing us - to the council etc.
I just want to keep it manageable for our mental health and then we plan to move away so that they cannot physically drain us. We plan to literally just see them once a year and have the excuse of distance.
We were thinking for the time being of spreading it out to just birthdays, Christmas and perhaps Easter for now. But is that too little?
Unless you have experience of this area it’s not possible to really explain why that wouldn’t be enough or why you can’t just cut them out entirely.
Can anyone else who is low contact share their experience and any tips/advice of how they’ve made it work?
How much contact is enough (I understand it’s never enough) to keep toxic/narcissistic individuals at bay?