Feel like I have no friends

Aurory · 20/09/2021 17:42

Hey OP, if that's any consolation, you're not alone. I'm in a similar situation, have one close friend but she's busy with a new job and lives far.
It's unfortunate that most of us will experience loneliness at some point in our lives. It gets harder to make friends as you grow older. I also work from home so the isolation is even bigger. I try to stay positive though. I have DS and things I like doing so I'm not depressed. Just a bit sad because just like you, I'd like to have someone to call up at 5am and chat about everything and nothing :)

CinstonWhurchill · 20/09/2021 19:03

Op, i am sorry you are experiencing this. I moved away from my hometown 10 yrs ago, to a place that suited my now ex. Although only 80 miles away, none of my life long friends could ever be bothered to travel and i got tired of lugging my kids around and down the country at my expense all the time and my kids inconvenience. I failed , despite my very very best efforts to make connections where we are now as , you have to have lived here since Norman times to even be acknowledged. 4 yrs ago i had the worst yr of my life, I divorced, 12 weeks after that my Dad died and 2 weeks after that my mum had a mental breakdown and was sectioned . I did not ever hear from anyone, not one single person, not a single txt or coffee when i divorced, not a single msg or card when my Dad died, nothing when my mum was hospitalised. The worst yr of my life i was left totally totally alone and have now been ever since, including lock downs. I remember looking at my empty bare mantle piece when Dad died, not a single card was sent to me. That was my lowest ever point in my life.

I had not one single msg , contact or neighbour help in the whole of the lockdowns either. Luckily i was able to get out, work ( key worker) and look after me and my DC's without issue. We were fine. Had we not been i dread to think.

I do not bother anymore with " friends". I am no longer disappointed. I did so much for my friends and community, over the decades. Now they are all divorcing.. they make contact.. i ignore their WhatsApp's, when sadly they lose a family member, i do not respond and when they have a hospitalised parent ...i ignore. I keep people now at a very healthy distance and never put myself out anymore. Superficial relationships only. Very sad but even at work today i see unpleasantness and bitchiness against another and i really cannot be doing people anymore. I have my 2 lovely DC's, my cat and my auntie and that is all i need.

category12 · 20/09/2021 19:25

Christ, if you're too old to make friends at 32, what hope is there?

I think
a. you're expecting too much (5am friends are few and far between and a bit idealistic) People have their own stuff going on.
b. keep trying with people.

TheFoundations · 20/09/2021 22:02

really close friends who I could ring at 5am to talk to if I needed to but I just don't have that sort of close friendships with anybody

Are you under the misapprehension that most other people have this set up? They don't.

More concerning is that fact that you feel you might want to ring someone in the middle of the night. Why do you feel this is a need for you? What is it you'd want to talk about?

If you want friends, make friends. It's that simple. If you've decided you're too old, that's very self limiting, but true, if it's your belief. It's up to you though. Other people keep making new friends into old age. What's different about you?

mustbemoretolife · 20/09/2021 22:18

I have been where you are. How old are your kids? I found primary age the loneliest time especially as DH works weekends & Im Mon-Fri.

But I met my best friend when we were both late 30s. We both had kids in the same class but as I work FT, I never did drop offs or pick ups. So we hadn't met at all.

Then there was a mums' night out and I went. Very nearly didn't as the thought was terrifying. I spent the entire night talking to this one mum and honestly, it was like falling in love. We texted on the way home from our respective taxis and have messaged or spoken nearly every day since. That was 5 years ago.

So what I'm saying is don't give up!!! And say yes to any invites. Or even organise a meet up yourself. I guarantee there are others who feel like you.

Also, the Peanut app is great. I've chatted to a few mums already on there and, although it's early days, it's nice to just have that contact.

Good luck OP.

Catlover1970 · 22/09/2021 00:14

@courtney251

Hi,

The past few weeks I've been finding really difficult, I just feel like I have no real friends. Don't get me wrong I have a lot of friends but nobody I can really rely on. I feel like recently nobody rings me to check on me or see how I am or because they want to meet up, I feel like I'm always chasing people. I'm 32 and I have two children and my husband but I'm feeling lonely. I would love to have some really close friends who I could ring at 5am to talk to if I needed to but I just don't have that sort of close friendships with anybody. Sometimes I'll go on social media and see people out and think why didn't they invite me. Does anybody have any advice? I feel like I'm too old now to make new friends.

I made some of my closest best friends at the age of 38 and have just made another very good friend at the age of 49! Dont put an age limit on meeting new people or you will miss out massively. There are some wonderful people out there that you haven’t met yet xx

Catlover1970 · 22/09/2021 00:17

@CinstonWhurchill

Op, i am sorry you are experiencing this. I moved away from my hometown 10 yrs ago, to a place that suited my now ex. Although only 80 miles away, none of my life long friends could ever be bothered to travel and i got tired of lugging my kids around and down the country at my expense all the time and my kids inconvenience. I failed , despite my very very best efforts to make connections where we are now as , you have to have lived here since Norman times to even be acknowledged. 4 yrs ago i had the worst yr of my life, I divorced, 12 weeks after that my Dad died and 2 weeks after that my mum had a mental breakdown and was sectioned . I did not ever hear from anyone, not one single person, not a single txt or coffee when i divorced, not a single msg or card when my Dad died, nothing when my mum was hospitalised. The worst yr of my life i was left totally totally alone and have now been ever since, including lock downs. I remember looking at my empty bare mantle piece when Dad died, not a single card was sent to me. That was my lowest ever point in my life.

I had not one single msg , contact or neighbour help in the whole of the lockdowns either. Luckily i was able to get out, work ( key worker) and look after me and my DC's without issue. We were fine. Had we not been i dread to think.

I do not bother anymore with " friends". I am no longer disappointed. I did so much for my friends and community, over the decades. Now they are all divorcing.. they make contact.. i ignore their WhatsApp's, when sadly they lose a family member, i do not respond and when they have a hospitalised parent ...i ignore. I keep people now at a very healthy distance and never put myself out anymore. Superficial relationships only. Very sad but even at work today i see unpleasantness and bitchiness against another and i really cannot be doing people anymore. I have my 2 lovely DC's, my cat and my auntie and that is all i need.

Sad

Mummasdiary2021 · 22/09/2021 00:19

Try the app peanut. It's like tinder but for meeting mums instead of dating 😊 it really helped me